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The following article appeared in VIVE Magazine and
gives an insight into why ondivorce was started.
When he split from his wife of ten years, Paul Maitland discovered
it wasn't easy to get access to the sort of advice he felt
he needed. "With all the turmoil that was going on around
me, I needed someone to talk to about how I felt." he says.
"The divorce and everything associated with it was always
on my mind. It dominated my every thought. At the time, I
needed to communicate my thoughts to someone; I was obsessed
with it." Paul had a real need to get his thoughts down on
paper and the person most readily available was his solicitor.
"He was more than happy to be my sounding board, but his support
came with the inevitable price tag," he reflects now. Thinking
back, Paul believes his main feeling when he was going through
his divorce was loneliness. He no longer lived with the family
he had spent over a quarter of his life with, and although
he had a few good friends and close family to support him,
he did not want to burden them. It was then that the Internet
became his focal point. Paul was struck by the impact the
worldwide web is having on the way we communicate. "I thought
that if I could get ordinary people with similar experiences
to communicate with each other in some sort of forum, I would
have made some progress towards making the process a little
less painful for others," he says. His site, www.ondivorce.co.uk
went live last summer and Paul has been overwhelmed by the
response. "I receive emails every day from users complementing
us on the design and content of the site." Ondivorce is full
of useful stuff. There are case studies, information-based
articles and even an 'e-friends' page to allow people to hook
up with others in a similar situation to themselves. These
features may be pretty standard fodder for Internet sites
these days, but where ondivorce is different is in its lack
of commerciality. Paul is an accountant during the day, and
ondivorce is something he created in his spare time. "I realise
now that I spent a heck of a lot of time on it, but I was
on my own in the evenings, and I really enjoyed doing it,"
he says.
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"Creating this site has been a great challenge for me. I've
always admired people who can create things, and it's quite
exciting for me to have made something that's of use to other
people." The site is growing in popularity and Paul says he's
now receiving lots of questions from users. However, since
he's not qualified to answer many of them, he points people
in the direction of organisations which can help - such as
Marriage Care, Relate and the Citizens Advice Bureau. "In
a way its a very arms length thing", says Paul, "but I'm hoping
it's a catalyst for people." The key to the whole thing is
communication. "All I want is for loads of people to use the
site," says Paul. "I get very excited when they do - that's
my real kick. I'm not in it for the money." Which makes a
refreshing change.

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