Home

Legal Information

Financial Information

General Information

Community

Checklists

Support

Further Help

Search

About

You are not logged in.
In order to post messages to this discussion board click here to login/register
A horizontal rule

[ADD A NEW SUBJECT] [OVERVIEW & TUTORIAL]

Subject: Controlling I think

So ex has been writing all week, I currently do not have the funds for sols so have been replied to them.

Then I recieved a rather aggressive letter. I have still been unable to move as property is so scarse an...


Kat, you have to laugh at him, stop writing as it ...

Kat. STOP writing back to him. You don't have to. ...

Do you know what everyone has said the same don't ...

Kat, you are not a solicitor so as LIP you are not...

Kat,

1 Will a judge think I am bein...


Hi Kat
I just wanted to add that I understa...


You want my 2 penneth.....

He's a g...


Sorry to read what you're experiencing and that it...

Kat,

I can't believe that this tw*t...

A horizontal rule
Subject: A bit of advice

Hi,

I have recently written a play entitled "Matryoshka" based on the experience of a very close family friend who was caught up in a long and emotionally fraught divorce case. She is a mother with three young ...


Post the link and I'would be interested in reading...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Court

I may need to take matters to court to increase contact. The last hearing was heard by a circuit judge who was very support of contact being increased to the level it is and made an order in the hearing. How can I try to get ...

May be the court clerks could let you know but I t...

In children cases continuity is considered importa...

so sometimesitdoesn'twork it is possible to get th...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Light at the end of the tunnel

Hi everybody,

I have already received superb advice on here regarding a question I asked the other day. Thanks to all that responded.

Thought I would post a bit about what is happening in my case...


Hi light. It's lovely to read a positive experien...

Hi Ess,

Thanks for your kind though...


Hi dts - sorry I called you "Light" when I replied...

I thought I was reading an old post of mine for a ...

Ess, Skovby1

Thanks for your suppor...


dts,

So lovely to hear that everyth...


I wish I could find some words of wisdom for you o...

Kat,

Thanks so much for your words ...


Hi dts - I hear what you're saying about being rel...

My family are mostly psychiatrists. They do tend t...

Hi Ess,

Thanks for the support.


I think it is important to actually allow yourself...

Hi skovby1,

Thanks for your support...


Sorry, made a mistake with the email address. It s...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Should I stay or should I go?

I would appreciate some opinions on the dilemma I find myself in.

I am now divorced and the FMH is on the market. My cheating ex has moved abroad with the woman he left me for and is out of contact with myself ...


I can appreciate how you feel - lots of people fee...

I think you need to find a local boyfriend. I have...

I like Lazy Lizzie's idea of renting for a while s...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Taking Children on Holiday

My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years and our relationship seems to have deteriorated year on year.

I sent him an email (the only way he will communicate with me) saying that I would like to take our child...


Strictly speaking you do not require his consent t...

Sorry the first sentence should read *less* than ...

Thanks STIDW. There seems to be such a lot of con...

Can you tell me which forms I would need to fill i...

Do you have a court order? Are you breaking the co...

Whether you have a contact order etc makes no diff...

If it breaks the order and no provisions for holid...

Oooops - yes, I meant £1800! No Jools, there is ...

If he wants to stop you from going then he is goin...

Thanks Stuart - I think the only reason he would h...
A horizontal rule
Subject: ha ha here's a laugh

So ex is getting married again ha ha so funny everyone who mentions it too me just laughs and says how rediculas, i just say not bothered, not interested, couldn't care which is all true.

Got an e-mail from him...


What a cheek!

Amazing how some people cannot look after the sing...

My ex came round to see me to ask if I could let h...

Exactly one of the most important pieces of paper ...

"Maybe I could have given it to him with a downloa...

However I have come to realise that if I did this ...

Why is it such an issue to let ex-spouse have a co...

Well it actually turns out that he didn't need it ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Lost

Well. Devastated. Was a directions hearing. Supposed to be there for 30 mins. The case before went on then we came back in the afternoon and he heard us.

The judge said ok for not being there last time, then or...


Costs on a directions hearing can't be right? Shou...

Sorry that happened and from my understanding cost...

In other types of litigation costs for intermediat...

wasn't my bundle and wasn't found to be at fault f...

CO,

'He said it lacked merit and or...


I asked to set aside the last order as I couldn't ...

Should I appeal as the application was in good int...

Application was also so I did no longer have the t...

Can I get the court to cancel this as perhaps they...

CO, it doesn't make sense to me, but then the majo...

He said first part was not valid as was out of tim...

Also, they put a bundle together but the judge did...

CO,

I am pretty sure you only pay f...


Cheers.

I hope you are right.
A horizontal rule
Subject: Separating

Newley seperating in need of positive boost. Anyone any good advice?

yep a bit more info and advice could be given, rea...

Yes 3 kids involved. Just not working out happy fo...

Hi Pabs
First of all, sorry you're in this ...


Your story mirrors my own.

After be...


Hi Ess & Hodditt,

Just reading thes...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Question regarding csa and benefits

Hi all,

My wife and I are recently separated and so far we have managed to remain amicable and have sorted out all the finances, future maintenance levels, who has what, etc.

My question concerns...


If either side goes there they will do it (unless ...

Hi Captain Oates,

Thanks for your r...


I thought that if the recipient was getting benefi...

I think a lot of sites are now out of date. If the...

Hi sometimesitdoesn'twork,
This seems to fi...


I think there are new rules coming into force from...

Just to clarify, since October 2008 it is no longe...

Hi sometimes,

Thanks for your reply...


From April there will be no longer any connection...

Thanks.
A horizontal rule
Subject: help please

my wife applied for an divorce nisi and recieved it in 2004 i have been urging her to get the divorce absolute ever since then, it is only just now 6 years later that she has applied for it and i was wondering if there i...

Did you seek legal advice? When the nisi is more t...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Years after parents' divorce

Sorry this is so long but I think people need some background to understand where I'm coming from...

Six years ago my father left my mum for another woman and soon after they divorced and he remarried. He has s...


Hi,

No, you are not over reacting a...


Hi sophiec83, I just wanted to say that I am in t...

Hi Sophie.

I think you are doing th...


Sophie - I think its extremely sad that your mothe...

Jools, the reasons for his adultery are irrelevant...

Sulva - "Of course he set out to hurt her and sadl...

Well I disagree. People don't have affairs by acci...

I think people probably have affairs because they ...

Harbouring resentment against a parent is unhelpf...

Ok, to address a few points.

I had ...


Well stated STIDW.

"Sophie can deci...


Jools our posts crossed.

Good on yo...


Hi Owl,

I don't beg for forgiveness...


"I suppose we've gone slightly off thread but my p...

I don't believe I ever said that I didn't think it...

So you consciously knew you were hurting her Jools...

Yes I did (know it was hurting her) and wish I had...

Don't 30% or 50% of people in marriages have an af...

I think the statement about having an affair to hu...

"There is an element of reckless behavior that is...

Nothing like a drink driver - absolute b*ll*cks!

In terms of level of intent, that's what I meant. ...

I tend to agree with Suvla's analogy of drunk driv...

And drunk drivers kill! Stupid comments! Especiall...

Jools calm down and think about it what is being s...
A horizontal rule
Subject: CSA payments

I noticed a while ago that CSA stopped taking payments from my account...last payment was 15 July

I normally transfer CSA payments to another account where I have the DD setup fro CSA. My standing order keeps t...


Just to add the CSA have been taking money via DD ...

You are complaining because the CSA have stopped t...

Put the money aside and see what happens.

I have always provided for my kids though at the m...

I think it's an excellent excuse not to provide, b...

I know where you are coming from Captain. If it wa...

Lots of respect for you iwish. You have a wider v...

Well, not just anger, my point is that nrp men hav...

My ex is not sensible :) .
A horizontal rule
Subject: Do I stay or Do I go?

I moved out of the MH the day after boxing day following a very physical bust up with the Mrs where (you can believe all you like from here on but this is my story and above all, THE TRUTH, she is in total denial to any respo...

firstly you need to decide if you want to work at ...

hi. i have absolutely no idea why people are advis...

When I moved out the locks were changed and the of...

The usual legal advice is not to move out until ar...

yes move back. Possession is indeed 9.`10s of the ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Advice please....

Hi...new on here, and never thought I'd be here...but here I am !! The t0ssw@nk that is my husband went back home for a month...came back in October to tell me (the day after his return) that he didn't love me anymore and ne...

Sorry you find yourself here but feel free to ran...

Thank you so much Kat...'back home' is abroad and ...

The landlord may not agree to him being taken off ...

Think ER might be a bit wrong....

T...


Thanks guys...I just can't contemplate anything at...

Have you spoken to your landlord?
Might be ...


Thanks Stuart...we've lived in the flat for 14yrs ...

Thats what we are here for.

Main th...


I'm am trying...he seems to be getting on with thi...
A horizontal rule
Subject: section 47 ASSAULT

Hi guys,

some help please...got charged with section 47 assault today after 7 months of police investigation.

Assualt allegedly took place on a Thursday in April 2009. My ex said I hit my son whe...


Get yourself a very good lawyer now! From experien...

well to be completely correct- the Police arent......

obiwan you are right but does it take 8 months to ...

do I have to notify my employer that I have been c...

No - innocent until proven guilty. If however they...

work for local council..I have told my immediate b...

I would say you've done all you need to....

after a conviction hope not do police notify your ...

If you have no criminal record you can get legal a...

If you are convicted then I think you will be in b...

Yes it does- the reason it takes so long with adul...

Thank you for your input guys much appreciated.

Captain Oates what do you mean by your statement "...

On family law, legal aid is about income.
<...


Thanks for the info captain...I do appreciate it.<...

Legal Aid has absolutely no relationship to previo...

I admit I did ask for and got the solicitor at the...

CO,

It all depends what you said to...


Thanks for the clarification.. I thought the same....

Yes, I have boss' letter and did try to let them k...

CO, having studied legal aid in criminal cases, I ...

Also think about other evidence on yoru side. Who ...

Thanks ER.. My ex refused me access to kids for 3 ...

ER, you have never smacked your children.
<...


Trying not to sound pompous self rightious. There ...

I have just read ERs statement and it is weird. If...

Simes, what was that term you were using before wh...

Never hit my son....never needed to....


You've been talking to my ex - she thinks that abo...

Waterboarding perhaps, plausable denyability that ...

Regarding informing your employer, as you work for...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Increasing Contact

Hi. New here. I have had 2 nights overnight contact with my 4 year old child for the past 3 months. When is going to be a good time to ask for more ie to progress to 3 then 4 nights and then half of holidays? I know that EX w...

What are the terms of the existing order?

from friday after school to 6pm on sunday alternat...

Hi,

My daughter is nearly 4. I have...


such a joke!!!

If the order is for Fri - Sun alternate weekends w...

sorry I am meant that I am having to 2 nights a fo...

I would say wait 6 months and then maybe apply wit...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Joining the list

ok brief history, ask questions as required. Wife asked me to move out in middle of october, i did and moved back to good old parents. She asked me twice to come back and i said no(didnt think things were fixed between us), a...

The usual legal advise is not to move out in the f...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Joining the list

ok brief history, ask questions as required. Wife asked me to move out in middle of october, i did and moved back to good old parents. She asked me twice to come back and i said no(didnt think things were fixed between us), a...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Nasty Nasty person Some people need to get help lol

So here I am thinking about how a person can change so much and treat the person they once professed to love with such hate and animosity towards them. I just don't get it. Is it because I haven't fallen apart without him, ha...

why?

3.5 million years ago man apes...


"Is this a case of an angry Mr Kat or is it a case...

Oh Kat - his relationship is toxic.

...


I very rarely post nowadays, but do pop in from ti...

yeh, i dont understand why people turn so evil, my...

Owl,

Harsh no not at all, not compa...


Kat
Out of the blue, 18m after he left, I ...


Hi Jelly,

Good to hear from you, an...


kat (though it PAINS me to say this...) owl has a ...

hi owl! return of the jedi...

what ...


Ok knackered now, it's 00.16am and need to sleep I...

Good Luck!

Well that was fun, ex asked usher if his GF(financ...

kat.
you really have a horrid ex.the simila...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Silly emotions..

My ex wife had a baby last night....little girl...

My son (12) seems to be taking it very well after feeling very upset at the idea.
Im glad and happy that he is gushing at having a lovely little sister ...


Your feelings are very natural - as are your sons....

You're not being silly. But I'm sure your son will...

new things delight kids- but he wont forget his ol...

Stuart,

My partners son was delight...


Stuart, I think I understand a little and I do sym...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Am I divorced? ... help

I received papers from the county court this week - ive had no previous notice of this.

It states that hereby certified that the said decree was on the ...date... made final and absolute and that the said marr...


IF no one applies for the absolute after a year di...
A horizontal rule
Subject: 4 Weeks - Like nothing every happened :-)

Hi all,

My daughter is back from her extended Christmas break to South Africa with her mum and boyfriend.

I had access this weekend Fri 5pm to Sun 5.30pm.
I have to say, most comments were...


Jools123,

Phew what a relief she mu...


Good news Jools.

I think you are ri...


Thanks Kat and Owl for your kind words!
A horizontal rule
Subject: Divorced? Please Read ! (Local Firm v City Firm)

Hi, I am conducting some research with regards to how people choose their law firm in a divorce. So to those people who have been through a divorce or are going through one, what motivated you to choose the firm you have/did ...

hi. i opted for a local firm simply because i have...

I looked for a solicitor in my local area, partly ...

We only used a solicitor to transfer the property ...

My firm were brilliant - 100% efficient and comple...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Following previous post

I didn't go because I could not get the time off of work because a project I was working on was reaching it's conclusion.

I wrote to the court and the other side and gave them both a letter from my manager.


Oats,

Hi You did the right thing yo...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Clean Break Order

My divorce finally came through today yipeeee!! I was the Petitioner and got a costs order against husband for him to pay my costs.... in the meantime I have had a letter from his solicitor, asking me to sign a consent order ...

Answered on the other board.
A horizontal rule
Subject: how do I slowwwwwwwwwww down a divorce?

Hello everyone

I split up in 2008 and now ex h has contacted me for a divorce based on 2 yr separation by mutual concent, and whether I had any reasons why not? well I gave him a few!! (background, I have been ...


Get rid and move on. Nothing will come out of slow...

i hate car drivers...

that aside......


i dont quite understand how or why his debts are n...

The only thing I think you can do is go ahead with...

thanks for all your comments.

The ...


it is written by my ancestors:

'man...


Emotion just hurts the wallet. The bottom line is...

STIDW- spot on..
A horizontal rule
Subject: How to sniff out clues of an affair from the most mundane conversations with your spouse

About NetSpiderz

Netspiderz is dedicated in providing Email Surveillance & P a s s w o r d Recovery Services worldwide and now it’s in 4th year of existence. Netspiderz remains unbeatable in terms of exceedin...


Don't bother. It's illegal to hack into someone's ...

The truth will out eventually anyway, you just hav...

gee thanks! i can get arrested for conspiracy to b...

You will be provided total anonymous access.
...


What is the point? If there is no trust the relati...

Clearly not the most intelligent of posters lisara...

Cant believe anyone would be naïve enough to thin...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Urgent: Do I need a barrister?

I filed petition for divorce on the ground of my wife’s unreasonable behaviour in August 2009 and just received a notice for a court hearing next Thursday and I need some advice on whether I need a barrister to represent me...

Some solicitor's are more experienced and more com...

'IT can help considerably if at least one party is...
A horizontal rule
Subject: first directions hearing

So had no choice to adjourn the first directions hearing as have an important hospital appointment in London. Thankfully managed to speak with the listings officer last week and she told me who the judge was going to be, well...

That's very good news about judicial continuity. O...

That's what my solicitor and I thought good to kno...

Ever wondered about devine intervention well it ha...
A horizontal rule
Subject: New to this but Hi ....

Just looking for a bit of advice and your thoughts on my current situation.
In brief ..married 22 years, one child (16), house (Joint). Decided to seperate in September 09 with the intention of going to mediation to so...


If the grandmother is not dead then the money won'...

I won money on the lottery the other day and thoug...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Holidays...


Hello all....

Hope for some advise and answers...

My ex H has hinted that he would like to take our 2 children, boy 4, girl 7 to the states for 2/3 weeks this year.
Thats where is ...


I would let them go and have a good time. It will...

Ooh, and plan something for yourself during that t...

Here's my thoughts if he was just saying he wanted...

The fact that his g/f is willing to combine a trip...

keephappy1, well done for not adopting the knee j...

I wish my ex had taken the children on holiday onc...

Thank you all.

The only thing that ...


Keephappy, there is a bit of a difference between ...

LazyLizzie,
If my ex had his way I wont be ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Back to reality ... Good while is lasted.

Hi,

I hope it's a Happy New Year for everyone as when the clocks tick into the next year, i just think about my situation. I don't think i'll ever comes to term with not living with my 4year old son and move ...


I don't think anyone feels it is enough when the ...

Hey stidw, hope all is well.

Thanks...


Oh dear. Dealing with the finances is always diffi...

i know exactly how you feel mrnoone... really... I...

if i was you id send an email to your ex and her p...

my kids just dont talk to me about their mum at al...
A horizontal rule
Subject: I am absolutely devastated

I have just found out that man who for 10 months last year kept telling me he loves me wanted to start an affair and told me that he was unhappy and not sure about his relationship with np. And kept on and on trying to get in...

Kat, I can see your point and understand you being...

Thanks LL,

I did tell him I love hi...


I'm so sorry, Kat.

His behaviour s...


forget him... he's not worth the tears... dickhead...

I have woken up today to swollen eyes Lovely.


He says he loves you but he betrays you and hurts ...

hear hear!

Kat - it will end only when you let it - when you ...

hi kat. i understand, although for me it had nothi...

He has already done it to his new partner a couple...

hi kat. with regard your son. although you tell hi...

Cheers why?

I have told them all th...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Christmas Day

Hi all,

Having read a few posts about NRP not being around for Christmas I thought I should share our scandalous situation with you. Now, as most are aware my daughter is in South Africa for an extended break b...


There are many many more men in the UK who refuse ...

jools- he is trash... you are better off without h...

hello.
how utterly vile. he and his np soun...


Thanks for the posts.

We have not t...

A horizontal rule
Subject: im slowly learning

im slowly learning that i dont need to worry about some things as much as i have.
you will remember that i was upset and shocked at h for not wanting to see the children over christmas and choosing instead to go away o...


however, lets not get carried away. im still not i...

hi kat.
yip. plenty of time til next year a...


' because this will mean that i dont see them at a...

My ex also chose not to see our son at Christmas f...

hi. yes. i can see that now. i agree with obi howe...

Its just a day, and this gets easier once the chil...

I know I am a bit dumb- most coppers are ;-)


again- another fall down with our legal system aro...

What can the RO do? nothing much. Children have no...

so wrong...

I like the 50-50% idea....


Tough... make them get used it, develop a culture ...

I am on your side here ER... but it wont happen in...

I like the idea of 50-50 too and I'm not sure why ...

The biggest obstacle to sharing care 50:50 after p...

Yes, I think (and I've posted this before lol) tha...

in my case the biggest obstacle was her... lol

fat chance of getting an effective, consistent 50/...

We did have 50/50 care of children for 19 years of...
A horizontal rule
Subject: 2010

A new decade, lets hope it brings us all some peace and quiet and for those away from their children too long more access.

2010.000.00 this is the amount of money i will end up paying my solicitor

...


Happy New Year Kat, hope it's a good one for you a...

2010 the amount in mega-hurts that my kids will su...

I too am glad it's 2010,

Not only b...


Happy New Year everyone!

all the best for 2010.
A horizontal rule
Subject: Denied child access

Left the wife at the Weekend following a very physical bust up where SHE assaulted me by biting, punching and kicking following a heavy drinking session. I DID NOT instigate the assault NOR did I hit her, I just held her down...

I'm afraid you will not like the news. Your opti...

yep, system stinks.....
Very much one sided...


i unerstand what stuart means. i dont agree that i...

Hi Why?....

I refer to mums quite s...


stuart -you bad man- we dont say mummy here... its...

Well, to be strictly accurate its 90%, and of cour...

OPPS... did I say 98? typo...

Of co...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Merry Whatever!

To all posters... Have a merry Xmas...

hope it gets better!

May the Force be with you all...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Divorce letter and no reply

Got a letter from spouse via court asking for divorce on ground that we have been living apart for 2yrs. what would happen if i ignore the court devorce letter?. I dont want to reply the letter.please what would happen?


Eventually after 5 years apart she can divorce you...

do you still have shared assets?

ge...


no asset, nothing togather and she is not making a...

well...

in that case should be quit...


She doesn't need to know where you are. Contact th...

Thanks for the advise.my last question-- how do i ...

Thanks for the advise.my last question-- how do i ...

There should have been an Acknowledgment of Servic...

thanks.no form came with it. I will look for a law...

The D10 can be downloaded from www.hmcs.gov.uk alo...

hello is there another name for form d10, cant fin...

Not all the forms are available on the HM Court Se...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Hello & Merry Christmas

Hi Gang,
Thought I'd join the crowd popping their heads around the door to offer seasons greetings!
A good year for me, very busy, no recession, not good prices but hey! bills are paid for another year.
M...


Now that's a coincidence. I was just thinking abou...

Good to hear from you Martin and so pleased that l...

ahh martin...

one of my steppers is...


Hello there and a very happy Christmas
I th...


Most who rush into it second time fail and 60% of ...

Lovely to hear that things are going well Martin -...

cheery note ER... lol...
A horizontal rule
Subject: I am Hoping

As I woke at 4am this morning I was thinking of all of us who will be apart from our children this christmas, some of us have opted for this to keep life simple for our kids and some of us have had this forced upon us keeping...

Hi Kat,

I truly hope that this lump...


I hope the time will fly by for you Jools and you ...

Me too... i hope its nothing serious... hope he ca...

You would hope but I e-mailed and told him what ha...

Sorry kat. You seemed to have more than your fair...

heh... fat chance... of him contacting you ....

No breakfast in bed honestly thats not right, alth...
A horizontal rule
Subject: ex in family home

Any advice please, my ex and I have been separated for 15 months now - I left with the children after years of emotional abuse from him and hidden debts(his). He is still living in the 4 bed familt house and is insisting tha...

It sounds as though you need to start court procee...

Thanks, I've been trying to tread softly in an att...

If he doesn't want you home you could move back in...

I don't think I could stand to live in the same ho...

If he is going to be retired soon he can take on m...

Thanks, I like that one about renting out rooms - ...

Er, dont talk daft.
Renting out rooms is ne...


Meant to mention....

ER is right wh...

A horizontal rule
Subject: update

spoke to the boys again... they are NOT going on holiday after all!!!

lol

it would seem that they were NEVER going...

she just said that to stop me taking her to court...
...


Obi, you are a bully.... leave that poor woman alo...

Well well well thiink we knew this all along hones...

stuart- lol...

kat- yes... cheque w...


Lying to you, well that's typical (it happens, we ...

on a lighter note... got skype running on their PC...

Oh, how spiteful. Not entirely unexpected though a...

yes I suppose I should have guessed... I should ha...

More positive attitude from you obi this is good t...

havent seen my boys for two weeks and wont see the...

Merry Christmas my friend, be safe today thinking ...

funny-no owl?

I think the Kiwi school of wit has closed for Xmas...

virtual turkey?

or...

...


hope she is ok... mind you... she does have a life...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Cheating ex

I am seeking some advice. The ex wife constantly failed to supply finincial information and ignoring court orders. We agreed a settlement before the final hearing but based on the little information she provided. It would ...

Certainly if evidence comes to light of non disclo...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Oh he's really good

So having had rather a lot of snow lke many parts of this fair land of ours, we went out to play on friday morning good fun dump the child for being cheeky and hitting me on the head with a snow ball, he was hiding behind a c...

It must be the time of year.....

Af...


Juggler so sorry this is still happening to you an...

hi.

it sounds very much deliberate....


Oh it happened again really he is pushing his luck...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Boo ...... MERRY CHRISTMAS

Hey people ….

Just popping my head in the door to wish you all yuletide greetings.

Who can believe that its 10 years ago that we were all contemplating the next millennium huh lol. The Y2K bug ...


lol RAY!!!!

y2k chat a con that was...


Ho ho bloody ho!
I remember it well Don. I ...


Hi Ray and BFS,

Good to see your st...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Directions Hearing

OK, so after the last post has pointed out, I am fairly stressed about this at the moment and after direction. So, I phoned the court today and spoke to the court manager who advised that my C2 application has been to a circu...

Should I withdraw my application? Can I? How do I?...

Capt,

Costs are only awarded when o...


Why didn't you turn up at a hearing? That;'s dread...

I cant believe this- I have empathy for oats-so-si...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Amazing

So what a shock I got today yet another unecessary letter that has been answered 3 times now by letter and in court but clearly he is not listening or able to bloody read. OMG

Ex has asked my solicitor for medi...


Kat,

What on earth is your Sol advi...


High Simes,
My solicitor hasn't advised any...


Sorry not HIGH Simes but Hi Simes then should be h...

Kat,

I just don't understand at all...


I didn't think you were able to just ignore any le...

Kat - I have to say, having been on this site for ...

Kat, you do not have to respond to any letters you...

Thanks Guy's,

After re-reading your...


what else can you do?

good luck ki...


Well I recieved the appointment today for the firs...
A horizontal rule
Subject: I've made the biggest mistake of my life, what now

I recently remarried and very shortly afterwards realised I had made a big mistake. I'm totally at a loss of what to do and where I stand. The house we live in is mine. solely in my name and i pay all the bills etc. I hav...

I should add I have owned the house(mortgaged for ...

Unfortunately you cannot divorce and no financial ...

crap- i am reminded of my own sit... i owned my ow...

Thanks for that. I can see now how stupid I have ...

Oh dear what an awful place to be right now, I am ...

I'm also sorry that this is happening to you but I...

As you are married your H has rights to live in t...

This is counted as a short marriage. You will both...

i appreciate there are four people to consider her...

Hippy, it may be that to end the marriage is the b...

We all make mistakes, after all we are only human....

Lazy Lizzie... we have known each other for 29 yea...

so to sum up...

your kids didnt lik...


It looks to me like your husband is under severe s...

Hippychick. I agree you have to put your kids firs...

Stids, not read it all, but wouldn't he have a cla...

Simes, the recent case was Smith v Smith. The CA ...

Hi Thanks for all your advice. I honestly do read...

I don't think you heartless hippychick. I agree yo...

Time to pop to the solicitor,

Menta...


he's a total waste of space. Do what I say ab ove....

Hi ER, no like I said everything was already plann...

I think they must be made at least 6 weeks in adva...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Moving away...

Hi there,
I wonder if somebody could help and give some advice please.

I was divorced 4 years back and have a 7 yr old. Im the nrp. Had to go to court after the divorce to get a contact order organised ...


The courts generally take the view that it is inap...

PSO- ASAP!

Hi,

Sorry this has happened to you,...


Why should your children have to suffer the extend...

Based on what has been said so far the probability...

Thanks everyone for the comments.

I...


No - she will change her mind. Its too late once s...

Agree with Jools get this sorted sooner rather tha...

If you can come to an agreement between you it is ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Someone sent this to me

Hi everyone,
Someone sent this to me via e-mail and when I read it as it is written about a mother but also read it from a father's perpective and wanted to share with all you Dad's and Mum's who are having problems re...


a bit trite- but i think it sums it up.


Me neither especially when son has been told by GF...

yes- poor kids... thats the thing i hate the most....
A horizontal rule
Subject: What happened in court

Went to court last Thursday, the ex looking for more contact and for his new fiancee to be allowed to be present at contact. On the Monday (7th) my solicitor received a lengthy fax from his sol saying fiancee had stolen ex's ...

It doesn't look as though you have to do very much...

Goodish news for you lovely well done, shame about...

Well, its not really going according to what we ag...

FFS,

Evidence Juggler get lots of e...


Nothing untoward has happened since. He went to co...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Can anyone please advise?

My boyfriend is currently going through divorce proceedings. He has 2 children aged 4 and 8 with his ex wife to be and is finding things difficult with regards to the access with his children.

Prior to his ex ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Can anyone please advise?

My boyfriend is currently going through divorce proceedings. He has 2 children aged 4 and 8 with his ex wife to be and is finding things difficult with regards to the access with his children.

Prior to his ex ...


Hi,

Sad to say that these sort of g...


funny- i have a feeling of deja-vue ...


The trouble is as soon as you turn to the courts i...

ER is sooo right...

if you can- mak...


Thank you for your replies, I myself would take th...

He's still going through divorce proceedings (I tr...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Captain Oates

Hya, a few of you remember Oatsy. I am his girlfriend of one and half years. Oates is having a rough time still with contact re: ex. She reduced his contact to every other weekend one night. He then applied to cour...

It's rare for costs to be awarded in children case...

if oatsy deals with court and ex wifey in the same...

Thanks for the replies. Yes, the court has reduc...

Poly, I hate to say it, but, the approach taken by...

o.k. point taken

Polywoly,

It's lovely to hear from ...


Hello. Well, we had a cafcass report which came ba...

There's a lot more to this. The court letter said ...

Kat, thanks for your post. No I don't go to cou...

I agree polywoly,

Deffo put costs a...


oatsy- i just hope you get to see your kids more.....

Cheers.
A horizontal rule
Subject: how is it possible to avoid 3rd trial?

if h has not disclosed all information which would show his expenditure and has not fully answered questions put to him prior to the fdr and everyone appears to just be working on the information/figures he has given us then ...

You need to prove those figures wrong and in such ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: can he start proceedings

My partners estranged wife began divorce proceedings in Feb this year, my partner received the paperwork and returned it to the court and he is not contesting it. Since then we are still waiting for her to send her affidavit ...

I believe that if she hasn't signed the paperwork ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Project at the Anna Freud Centre

My name is Natasha Fitzgerald-Yau and I am a graduate student at the Anna Freud Centre, University College London. I am conducting a study that will explore the effects of parental loss on the inner world and emotional adjust...
A horizontal rule
Subject: God it happens everywhere

Just had a call from my sister who is in tears her and husband have been having probs she kept it quiet and just informed me they had a massive row tonight he has stormed out she said she doesn't love him anymore and wants ou...

oh... your... god!!!

30 years... <...


First of all she needs to be told it's not her hou...

Yeah she knows that ER as in joint names. He can n...

No chance that this is all a bit of a storm in a t...

Oh...just re-read my post...
I wasnt implyi...


Hi stuart,

Bloody cheek unbalanced ...


Tell her the reality of life on your own and about...

hi kat.

yes its happening everywher...


Well my parents stuck it out until they died in to...

Well seems he is back and that they may give it an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: God it happens everywhere

Just had a call from my sister who is in tears her and husband have been having probs she kept it quiet and just informed me they had a massive row tonight he has stormed out she said she doesn't love him anymore and wants ou...
A horizontal rule
Subject: if you have a min simes- please.

simes- here is the exact wording: how do you interpret it please?

'for one week each school Christmas Holiday, and in alternate years it shall be from 5.00pm on 24 December to 2 January, but for the purposes of...


Oscar Bravo,

The sentence doesn't m...


thanks- better advise from you and court staff the...

Normally the papers have to be served for 21 days ...

its 80- but thank again- have form in my hand!

I've just checked and according to the fees list E...

STIDSY, sometimes the left hand doesn't know what ...

Yes I know the left hand doesn't always know what ...

sidw dead on... its 40!!! the lady from court got...

Obi as I understand it you had 24 December to 2 Ja...

yes owl- well done- nice big told you so- well fcu...

Obi I don't feel at all smug.

I don...


There will come a point when these children are ol...

owl- yes they are... and she let slip that they ar...

Good on you for listening to your kids Obi and mee...

Isn't this horrible when these poor kids are stuck...

owl- no1 son has been bribed... with a holiday. No...

Yes no 1 son has no doubt been bribed ( or offered...

or was it 'your father will not allow you to go on...

" or was it 'your father will not allow you to go ...

how does she know? err... I told her that if she s...

Obi, the kids have not been defeated, son no 1 is ...

why no court? because she has told no1 son it will...

if oatsy deals with court and ex wifey in the same...

not people simes- show me please any posts to back...

Obi, of course you can be a parent over the phone ...

NO!

being stopped from seeing your ...


Obi, I am very satisfied that I am a complete pare...

"of course you can be a parent over the phone and ...

No not ridiculous Stuart just stating mine and my ...

the difference- owl- is ...

that sh...


grrrr...

what my ex is- is an abuse...


Obi they are not coming for Christmas because you ...

it says in the order-

'for one wee...


I know what the order says Obi. However by agreein...

all true- but the real PROBLEM in this is her? yes...

Obi my son does not resent me, our relationship ha...

firstly, thanks for the post- very detailed...


Obi, your consellor may have expressed disbelief a...

and if they do- and i did not see them - then what...

Obi, you see your sons regularly. That has been go...

love it owl...


'Things are ...


You can only change your own behaviour Obi, you ca...

'Is that the way you want to be for the rest of yo...

"Obviously your bond with your son has not got str...

Sorry...just found another gem....

...


Stuart I accept it wouldn't work for you. My ex ca...

Hands on parenting down the phone or via skype eh?...

Well its ridculous to you Stuart, but maybe that i...

I see where you are going owl- really- if you are ...

also owl- how do you give you son a hug?


You are perfectly entitled to feel whatever way yo...

not ego! i miss them!

lol- its diff...


"You just let it go owl- i cant... my sons are too...

"I also asked my son what he needed from me. He sa...

I was a hands on parent Stuart and still contune t...

your answers speak volumes to me owl... surprising...

'I'd say my son has had more cuddles from his nrp ...

i dont believe any such thing...

i...


"Like I say I would have spent far more time with ...

Obi, I don't automatically think women stay at hom...

sorry owl- but i cant be held responsible for anyt...

Obi if you married a woman you hated at the time o...

t was all my fault then... I dont know why owl- b...

Being depressed does not mean you are off your tro...

I doubt schools lie to parents as they are scared ...

"she said exactly- 'we are going to sell it to you...

err... i am not the abuser- she was and is ...


Obi....save your breath.
Owl will contradi...


"Not at all Owl. Far from it, I just fail to see h...

as i say owl- you are now suggesting STRONGLY that...

I am suggesting Obi, that her behaviour is that co...

you ARE a troll...

and you wont mak...


Obi I belive you when you say your suffered abuse ...

at least i dont demean an abused person like you d...

I don't believe I have demeaned you Obi. Being abu...

bollocks...

Like I said, you are pretty well wasting your time...

Stuart- you are right...

sorry mate


Stuart, I don't think my ideas on parenting are to...

'when a man tells a woman' you really have your h...

"When your ex- wife asks you to stop doing somethi...

"you are easily offended..."

Obi I ...


ahh... you are wrong- i DONT hate my ex wife- I ha...

Obi even when I raged at my ex, albeit it very bri...

i did not give my consent to it... I had no choice...

Almost as nasty as called some one a "nasty, spite...

well i calls 'em like i sees 'em...

...


Lol Suvla thats about it. Round and round and roun...

"e.g. you can be a great parent over the phone... ...

Owl, you dont believe that domestic violence towar...

'You seem to be raging because you feel a person y...

"Owl, you dont believe that domestic violence towa...

'I never said you felt threatened by me Obi'
...


i will still be calling every day to hear my sons....

Lol Obi, lots of people have to work Christmas day...

i am working 10-6pm xmas day... so i wont get lunc...

Aah well Obi you can have a lovely tea instead ( o...

working...

touche...

...


"your son cant make that comment- because- he isnt...

However he does not feel any emotional connection ...

"However he does not feel any emotional connection...

you posted...

'He really thinks you...


It wasn't a critic of your parenting skolls Obi, i...

lol... ok...

but you saying it is ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Children troubles again

When is this going to end please someone tell me argh,

Yesterday I recieved a C100 from the ex no court aknowledgement on it nothing no hearing date etc.

So on it he states he is going for resid...


Hi Kat, how old is your child?

Pers...


Kat, you need to attack this on the basis of unwar...

Hi Simes,

I ask my sol about the un...


Kat, 5 times in 2 or 3 years is enough to block hi...

Thanks simes,

Will ring cafcass tod...


Hi, Kat.

I'm going to ask for a 91....


Ok spoke with the court house and his application ...

Solicitor said he didn't think a judge would agree...

Hi not been here for a while. I'm not sure how muc...

Thanks tania,

Over the last 3yrs we...


It isn't the number of times you go, its whether t...

Thanks again simes for the very useful info,
...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Back to court :-(

Very disappointed that I am now off to court again next Thursday (5th or possibly 6th time this year). I really hoped nothing would happen until the New Year then at least we would know where we were regarding holiday contact...

Hi Juggler,

From what i can underst...


Thanks, Kat.

Its not the Christmas ...


Naa Jugs...... You just keep going.....lol

I'll have an Earl Grey, please!

Just had a phone call from my solicitor...
...


OOOH this in one way is good news but in another q...

Thanks, Kat.

As far as I know, cour...


Oh don't screw the tax man coz he will been happy ...

Thanks, Kat. Sorry, this is a cut and paste job bu...

I hate to say this but given he lies about the GF ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: fdr

can someone also please explain whether or not i could have adjourned the fdr based on non disclosure and unclear and contradicting disclosure provided by h. or am i correct in saying that only h can adjourn the fdr because h...

Why, the whole point is that if his non disclosure...

ok simes. so basically you are telling me that we ...

Why, no, at the final hearing both of you will be ...

or indeed. why did you spend almost £100,000 on h...

I know this is really stressful for you why? as it...

hi kat,
not being funny here but i get no p...


If you agree things between you they can be agreed...

Why, if your solicitor has told you it is unlikely...

thanks owl. i will ask my solicitor and barrister ...

Why I should add that the key bit of information t...

Yes, we married young, always had everything in j...

hi er.
yes we do have a sharholders agreeme...


Why, It will take your sol some time to analyse th...

"If there is no purchaser then the shares at reall...

thats useful advice owl thanks. i have tried to ge...

Why, your SM payment will be based on his income a...

yes i understand. i find it annoying however that ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Break through regarding Christmas

Hi all,

After several solicitors letters my ex has conceded some ground regarding my daughter traveling to South Africa over Christmas. I get daughter on both weekends before Christmas (11-13th)(18-20th) and bo...


Yipee, This is good news Jools I am so thrilled fo...

Thanks Kat - it is great news!

Yes,...


I am so chuffed for you and what's £1500 (i know)...

Kat - fairy costume, Dora DVDs, Marble Madness, Di...

Good news Jools. enjoy!

I'm intrigu...


Ah but then like me you have grandchildren and do ...

nice news-good one...

A horizontal rule
Subject: fdr waste of time.

hi.
im looking for good strong advise here. previous posts i mentioned that i suspected h was deliberately engineering a third trial because he had told a blatant lie accusing me of saying to him that i would not sttle...


Why, I won't go into details, because a lot of wha...

I do agree with simes here,

The oth...


The point of the FDR is to try and reach agreement...

PS the costs of a FH and associated work can be an...

no opinion from judge other than that it was a sha...

So lots of opinions then from the Judge Why and ev...

hi owl.

id assume that if the judge...


No thats not the case Why. At the final hearing th...

i understand about income not being a bottomless p...

It is about standard of living Why, the general ru...

OK, the judge has given lots to think about. Simes...

hi

regarding the judges opinion. it...

A horizontal rule
Subject: update

text from the X... 'you are not having the boys this year for xmas...'

she has decided to take them to the snowdome!

I will have them for this weekend then nothing until jan 6th...

...


Obi - I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't quite...

Sorry DarthX has done what,

was yo...


Obi, its simple really isn't it.

Yo...


order says- that basically the xmas holiday is in ...

Obi, if the order says you have the boys from 18th...

I know right now it seems taking the higher ground...

I dont think i could ask simes- he thinks i am an ...

we live month to month...

200 quid ...


Well do it this time Obi, don't just talk about it...

And I think you are missing the point of why you a...

gee thanks mom...

we have cut back ...


err... my role to correct her behave?



Obi, the value is that you have a chance to get th...

Oscar Bravo,

'I dont think i could ...


simes- for me 'enforcing' a civil order is a WASTE...

I know you mean well- and i am not upset with any ...

F4J is disbanded. Too many bigots within brought ...

simes- here is the exact wording: how do you inter...

Obi If you seek to enforce a civil order, the resu...

i heard FFJ was kaput... I guess they just ran out...

So it looks like you are going to go ahead and ap...

law without enforcement or consequences is useless...

Obi young kids can cope without seeing a parent fo...

cope? mmm... deal with- more like.

...


Obi, kids can be quite happy when separated from p...

I think you miss the point a little... the kids (u...

Obi if your kids want to live with you and you are...

are you sure you are a solicitor?

r...


Yep, I am quite sure I am a solicitor Obi.
...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Apology for previous post: please ignore it.

I'm sorry for my last post. I didn't mean to offend and obviously did not research the site well enough before asking for help with my project.

Unfortunately there does not seem to be a way to delete the post, ...


Don't feel bad Zoe, it's not your fault, but I can...

Zoe, I apologise for my words. I was unreasonably ...

Zoe, I wasn't offended by what you wrote. Though I...

Exactly my thoughts TD.

Zoe. I found when I finally did get divorced about...

Zoe
Whilst I am sure many on here share Stu...


as i only had the clothes on my back, living in a ...

Zoe, being a student myself, good on you for makin...

Zoe, I celebrated my divorce, although it was over...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Help inspire women to celebrate newfound freedom.

Hi all,

I am a student making a documentary about women who throw divorce parties. As someone whose parents went through a long and very painful divorce, I understand that this will not apply universally- and h...


A party was the last thing on my mind. Absolutely ...

I might throw a housewarming party though, if and ...

This is EXACTLY why I agree with the student loan ...

Thanks stuart, that's really helpful.



Zoe - I think you should go elsewhere. This site i...

Thing is Zoe, you have come to a divorce website w...

I want to know how it is these frigwit people are ...

I'm really sorry to have caused such offense. Genu...
A horizontal rule
Subject: And we have a result

After as you may or maynot have read below ex wrote a very damning letter against me and has shown he will do all possible to wreck the relationship I have with the kids etc etc. He was angry due to hearing outcome and used t...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Enforcing residency order

I have applied for a residency order for my 7 year old twin girls. I was last in court on 22nd November when an order was made setting out contact times for my ex-wife. The order also included two conditions for this contac...

You say it is written in the order that her partne...

I agree with Kat. Except you do need to have proof...

It really depends on the circumstances. Were the c...

Why do you object to the partner being present?

Valid question Stuart but maybe it is serious enou...

Thank you for your input everyone. I do not want ...

sounds like you have grounds to ask the court to l...

do you know any other parents at the school who ar...
A horizontal rule
Subject: How do non-resident parents deal with the time away from children

Hi all,

Another one from me.....

I am finding the time outside of contact very tough and was wondering how NRPs cope. I have that aching/emptiness feeling in my stomach for several days after say...


I agree with your partner. If you let it eat you u...

Hi Stuart,

Yeah, I didn't think the...


I agree with your partner Jools, counselling may b...

"it just gets you locked in bitterness and express...

ouch

Stuart have you considered what it is really like ...

Ra...ra....ra.....

Talking crap as ...


Lol Stuart you really are an angry man sometimes. ...

Err...you started the insults Owl....not me....

No Stuart I said you expressed an angry emotion. A...

Oh I see....my mistake was it? lol
So, call...


Stuart what's eating you at the moment? You are re...

Owl, I came here to respond to Jools and all I got...

Stuart you did express angry emotions. Read your p...

Frankly Owl I couldnt give a hoot whether you are ...

What situation regarding Jools's daughter Stuart?<...
A horizontal rule
Subject: and another one from me...its not turning out to be a good day

Hi,

I've just found out from my daughter that her mum is going to change her name.

Can she do this without my consent?

We were married when daughter was born.
However as I w...


If the parents of a child are married to each othe...

Thanks for this.

But could she try ...


Jools, there is a child's legal name and then ther...

Owl - I suppose you're right regarding a name. Aft...

Jool123,

Yes it is only a name I wo...


It is illegal to allow a child to be known by anot...

Thanks all - At least this sounds like one instanc...

I am not sure but I think you can it might be wort...

"Can I get my name put of the birth certificate wi...

kat, if a couple were married at the time of the c...

Err, of course you can have your name added to the...

Just to clear the situation.

I'm na...


Right Jools,

As you are named on th...


I don't think Jools' daughter having her mother's ...

Reason she used her surname was that we split up d...

In England & Wales the legal position is that cons...

I would have thought the fairest answer would be f...

STIDW I am not talking about formal name changes o...

TD, I think for men often the issue of a surname a...

Owl, I know this name thing is a well trodden argu...

"For a mother to change a childs name, it is not t...

LOL....I think you have missed the point TD...


Stuart, you've just made up the reason why the mot...

Sorry, pressed Send too soon.

Stua...


TD - to be honest, my ex would try and change daug...

I don't get this. Didn't you say your daughter do...

EVR - I don't want my daughter being named after a...

My brother in law left his wife when his two child...

Hi Suvla - this new man has no biological tie to m...

But Jools, she will have her mum's surname, becaus...

My niece (ex-niece?) has her father's surname, my ...

Jools I wouldn't worry too much about correcting y...

And Jools to add to what you said to evr most wome...

Owl - of course and that's because I want to alway...

Jools, the reason for the "get a grip" whats in a ...

Oh dear Jools.....you and your ex split during the...

Stuart, I live with one of my children, live close...

He removed himself from his mother's life prior t...

Interesting Owl - you state that I removed myself ...

Jools I am not making any assumptions as I don't k...

you have actually (see below) - but hey this has g...

I agree with Owl. Whatever the circumstances you ...

evr - you really do seem to get the wrong end of t...

wtf - I've re-read this and realised I'm getting d...

The marriage broke up Jools, so you must have left...

Jools I have no need to know the circumstances of ...

Changing a child surname is always contentious bec...

Jools, I dont blame you for withdrawing from this ...

Oh...meant to say, good advice from STIDW....

Stuart who made the assumption Jools left his wife...

i think that to change a childs name as your own c...

Owl, have you got the hots for me or something?

lol Stuart, rest assured you are definitely not my...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Its not right, and I doubt there is anything I can do about it.....

I have my daughter with me this weekend, we woke up this morning (after she wet the bed for the first time) and she said 'Daddy, I dont want to see you for longer because it means I cant play with or see William (her friend)'...

You've done very well. Parents' views differ on wh...

I think you need to be very wary of jumping to con...

you did good. i have h who manipulates children an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: help please

hello folks, I have been reading your posts for a long time and need help. My ex husband has remarried with step children and a baby on the way.


I told my 12 years duaghter off and she decided to go ...


When you say he has reduced the amount agreed in c...

Umm... a 12 year changing where they live just b...

On the face of what we have read, its not likely t...

Thanks STDW for your informed input. I always enj...

12 is marginal. 13 is more likely but most contact...
A horizontal rule
Subject: And were off :)

So I waited and waited and it finally happened after two weeks of pent up frsutration on his part lol.

Plop a letter on the door mat from the ex. as you know he tells S about court etc etc S blames Mother for f...

A horizontal rule
Subject: What do I do now ??

Hi
I had a very frank discussion (well, screaming match) with my husband at the weekend. Told him I did not love him, I did not want to be married to him any more and wanted us to seperate. He is having none of it, s...


Err....not so easy to "serve papers" in order to m...

I lived with my husband and two sons whilst I divo...

I agree totally with the above posts good advice a...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Domestic Abuse...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8376943.stm

To be taught in schools...

I thought PM Browns line. 'violence against women and girls was "an obscenity"'.

True... but methinks he forgot...


http://www.familylore.co.uk/

On the...


so there IS a two tier system after all....
...


I think Simes's point is that despite the governme...

shame they missed half of the equation eh?

obi, I think you are missing the point that the la...

ok- fathers rights are a COMPLETELY sep issue than...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Poll

I read the other day in the Telegraph online that a poll suggests up to 1/3rd of all children loose contact with one parent [usually the father ]. They made it into a debate. The main reasons given were the legal system, gr...

lol... yes....

petrol... fire... WHOOOOF!!!!

Sorry - I really do NOT understand this. Are sayi...

Trouble is that apart from court data on the outco...

harry- yes... there is a problem... thankfully -no...

Effective problem solving often means stepping asi...

effective problem solving - is IDENTIFYING the PRO...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Increasing Contact

Hello,

Could somebody please advise me on how I should go about getting extended contact through the courts?

Currently I have 9am on Saturday through to 5.30pm on Sunday on alternate weekends. I ...


Hi Jools123,

OK you would like to i...


I agree with Kat, if you still have regular conta...

Hi,

Thanks for the posts but....

C100. Dowload from HMCourts website.



Hi Simes,

Allegations - you know he...


Sorry to but in. I made post above trying to unde...

Sorry harry but your questions are dubious. If you...

Jools. I am one of those fathers who has two grea...

i also put up a website. www.childrenarenotpawns....

Harry, most men tend to go up against the legal sy...

ok, sorry to hear your difficulties.



Simes/Jools

Simes - I agree with yo...


Look on the bright side, children get to the point...

Harry - the system is all wrong for the reasons ou...

Stuart - I really hope that happens with my daught...

Harry, not annoyed with you at all. Just the way ...

Simes

You are a divorce lawyer righ...


Harry, sorry, no I am not.

Join F...

A horizontal rule
Subject: F.A.O Simes

Please could you tell me what the following means:

Make false representation to make gain for self or another or cause loss to other/expose other to risk on xx/xx/08
Fraud Act 2006 s1 (2) (a) +s.2
...


Ah, having had a re-read, I can see his solicitor ...

Jeez....I have to ask, why are you so interested i...

Is your name Simes.....? :-D

Well clearly not....lol...

Just try...


Jugs,

You need the Court to order d...


I'm not Simes but in case he isn't about over the ...

Sorry, crossed posts!

Thanks, all.

Just to clarify, he ha...


Jugs, another possibility of fraud is that he fidd...

Thanks, Simes.

The accompanying let...


Jugs,

His Sol is protecting his cli...


if the prosecution is impending- I dont think the ...

Yes, I do understand the reasons behind not statin...

"police letter) says "Copies of incidents relating...

Can I ask why the interest?

If its ...


Stu, didn't we go through this same conversation l...

Yes, I do remember this.....but I have slept since...

I would like to point out that Mr Jugs IS having c...

P.S I wouldn't say I am doing any detective work. ...

So the court has told you to do all of this detect...

Stuart, surely this is a child protection issue in...

in my experience - social services don't always im...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Makes you wonder

So I should be surprised really butit does make me wonder,

Ex is so angry he lost in court that he has again taken to using our children as a weapon against me. Telling them Mum did this and she has taken all m...


Kat, this is what you do.

You write...


Is it really a good idea to involve the children i...

Simes I think its always a good idea to let childr...

Hoots, I had absolutely no idea of my parents econ...

You may well be right Simes.

I have...


well the reason I am in financial hardship-ville i...

Hoots,

I think the best that we can...


This has stirred some debate and some valid points...

In E&W divorcing spouses are under a duty to use i...

Simes I wouldn't want to distract you from your le...

Owl Australia or New Zealand?

Most clever children can understand the fact - lik...

Kat - NZ, its not light in Aussie till 10pm at nig...

Nice post Owl very clear and to the point and so s...

Kat, personally, I wouldn't give a toss about show...

Ta simes,

I think I will slap that ...


ANd it did see above post :)
A horizontal rule
Subject: children

can anyone tell me if its possible to have an order set by the court to establish contact just during holidays?

we have a schedule which suits us both. apart from the usual let downs by h as per usual. (just as...


No adult is forced to see for children if they don...

yes. i realise all of this but just find it totall...

Why?....you are doing it again...dont allow your f...

hi stuart. i have the children this christmas as h...

Why calm down and take a breath.

Ne...


I echo Owls final paragraph.....

I ...


hi guys. i do get what you are saying. he has his ...

Why, I have found that children tend to be less wo...

hi owl. i do appreciate and recognise what you say...

What would happen if your ex moved a distance away...

hi stuart. it would dependon far he chose tomove. ...

Yes thats true....

But you still ne...


"i never impose a decision on someone else that i ...

hi owl.
yes. i see your point regarding my ...


Why I think you can say that you did "consider" yo...

hi owl. it boils down to this. i want to see the c...

Why someone once said that assuming too much makes...

HI OWL. i didn't assume that all people from broke...

"i think its fair to say that if a parent doesn't...

And I should add Why that if anyone had suggested ...

Christmas is neither here nor there in my view bu...

hi owl. you made the point about your children enj...

Why the children were bought up by both of us and ...

hi owl. i'm exhausted on the christmas thing.regar...

Why who is stopping you getting paid employment if...

owl.i have no intentions to work until my youngest...

Why life isn't fair. Is it fair that your h does n...

no owl. i wanted h to see the children regularly a...

Why?, your loss of career will be reflected in the...

I think the thing you are going to have to accept ...

owl. all schedules were done at his request. any s...

Why, why are you bothering with typing the schedul...

im sorry owl but its perfectly normal to have sche...

Who says its perfectly normal to have schedules Wh...

yes i can appreciate all that you say. however, ye...

Why, let me share my positive experiences as an nr...

i again can agree with you to a level. regarding t...

why, I was emotionally abused by my ex and he rema...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Hopefully nearly there!

I was actually divorced 2 year in January but part of the consent order was 1) that i pay maintenance till the house is sold. 2) that a schedule of the contents be agreed and divided accordingly.

Now the proble...


i dont know the answer. however, i cant see why yo...

Why? is right....compare court costs with the valu...

Thanks for that!

I am self represen...


My ex let me have virtually all the contents as I ...

Thanks ER im not gonna let it go but my question i...

Yes, if your ex hasnt done everything as she shoul...

All i want is what im entitled to!

Red I understand how you feel. THe bad news is tha...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Court Tomorrow

So as you can imagine tomorrow is supposed to be the day that I come out of limbo note the words supposed to be. :(

It is the day that is supposed to decide whether the children and I will be able to rehouse ou...


good luck kat. do you have to sit in the same room...

We will have to see the Judge together so in the s...

I can't remember where you are at and whether this...

So the hearing was for ex to show cause to vary SM...

seems like things are going your way kat. for now....

So he did get short shrift! Please don't feel gui...

Thanks guy's.

I know this is his ma...


Awww Kat - sorry you're having such a tough time. ...

Thanks Joyce,

If I had been a compl...


ahh kat- your line 'If I had been a complete bitch...

oh yes it certainly does obi, Sometime my dad says...

Kat, your Dad sounds just like mine - he says to m...

Thanks for the post sulva,

How are ...


hi kat.

i feel for you. i am going ...


Thanks why?

Yes he will destroy all...


His current partner should nkow he will sleep arou...

Well there is the £64k question ER,

...


Also ER,

Why would his current part...


kat. the gf will blame you for his affairs no doub...

Ha yes your probably right there Why? Everything i...

Hi Kat

Good to read that the Court ...


Ha Owl that is hillarious thanks for cheering me u...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Here I go AGAIN !!!!

Cant believe Kat n others still on here - Anyway have asked no 3 for Divorce because I am sick of being the verbal punchbag - Today is day one, expect harder times ahead !!!!!

Didn't Oscar Wilde say something along the lines t...

Did not loose any of them - let them loose !!!!

Oh S**T Seth.

Yes still here lol an...


a 2nd marriage is a triumph of hope over experienc...
A horizontal rule
Subject: More silliness

Being taken back to court in a fortnight... As a quick update, this year the ex has taken me to court 5 times to get more contact with the children and to have his new girlfriend present at that contact. 5 times the judge has...

Jugs, Your sol should be asking for an order to th...

Hi, Simes.

Is the 91.14 order somet...


Typo - next COUNTY, not next COUNTRY, he's not gon...

Jugs,

Yes, 91.14 is to stop a vexat...


seen one in action - it works a treat...


Just wondering how to suggest a 91.14 to my solici...

easy- just say...

'can I enquire if...


She is very good, I'm always worried about upsetti...

Jugs,

Sometimes, it is better to no...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Costs in divorce

Hi everyone

I have today received notification the Judge will grant me a divorce and he is to pay costs with my first court date. I initially saw a solicitor who sent him out a letter and I got charged £120 f...


Hi.

All I did was wrote a letter to...


Hi Stuart

Thanks for replying... w...


Hiya again,

Im assuming you dont ac...


Hi Stuart

No I haven't got the orde...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Costs in divorce

Hi everyone

I have today received notification the Judge will grant me a divorce and he is to pay costs with my first court date. I initially saw a solicitor who sent him out a letter and I got charged £120 f...

A horizontal rule
Subject: consent order

Hi Can any help?? I am currently part way through a divorce i am the respondent and have the decree nisi however my wife has'nt applied for the absolute it has been approx 5 months so i can apply for it, can you tell me if i ...

When the respondent applies for the absolute there...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Bullying

My parnters was bullied by his wife for many years she has slowly took advantage of his financial position and took money from him and invested it into a business she was helping her grown up chidren financially to survive an...

Well pixiehelper, first of all how can a wife take...

Its both their money but she will sit on the divor...

tit for tat dirvoce on it's way then. I would just...

I don't understand what you mean when you say the ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: ulcers...

good ol' doc...

she tells me i am on the way to getting an ulcer...

I wonder why...

will keep you updated- but for now i am on new meds and they are changing my shift pattern to ...


Well hope you get the Ulcer under control. Not too...

yup- medication works... very well...


A horizontal rule
Subject: Help! Help! What do I do?

Please help me. I have spent the last 30 mins in tears after dropping off my 3.5 year daughter (M) from our fortnightly contact.

I was handed the following sheet of paper reading "Dear Julian, M will be visitin...


What are the terms of the order in relation to hol...

The order doesn't mention holidays.

...


yes- but that would be a reasonable person Jools.....

Talked to solicitor and being called tomorrow....<...

Jools, this may not help but i thought I would say...

Horrible, horrible and As hard as this will be not...

Thanks all for advice.

Unfortunatel...


Jools,

Your Sol should have given y...


Solicitor has said that she will write to her as s...

It might not be much consolation but for all those...

I really do hope that is the case.

...


Jools I just want to say that this is hard for you...

hi.

i have to say as a pwc that i f...


Hi, thank you for your words.

To be...


Your solicitor if she has any experience in Family...

I think my solicitor was stating that my ex should...

aagh well Jools your ex will truely believe that s...

It is...

Just to add....I only know...


Jools the effect of the Hague Convention is that i...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Scottish divorce - free offer

I am a Scottish Solicitor and in the process of considering whether or not to offer a new Scottish divorce service. It is for those with children under 16 who have agreed everything with their husband or wife.

...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Quick question regarding a Tenancy

So I ask.

If ex is guarantor for our D on her rented property would he also be allowed to be guarantor for me. Can he be guarator for both of us?


Why would you want your ex as guarantor?


Hi LL,

Ah it doesn't work like tha...


lizzie is right- i would rather have a terrorist a...

dont give this person control over you again!

Kat, by having your ex as guarantor you actually h...

Cheers owl this was my thinking see I knew I wasn'...

Its very stressful Kat. In your shoes I'm not sure...

Well it get's worse the buyers are now pushing for...

No clues I'm afraid, but I just wanted to offer my...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Father threatening court again - where do we stand?

Firstly I would like to point out that my partner and I have a child each. Her child (13) lives with us and my child lives with her mum (4). I have gone to court to get access and see my daughter every other weekend sat 9am t...

Jools123,

Firstly may I say and sur...


Sorry about your sad news, the loss of children is...

Thank you so much for you kind words. Its been a t...

OMG Jools123,

Well what a complete ...


Hi Kat,

You've hit the nail on the ...


sorry to hear about this jools... agree with kat a...

The mans a joke,

My son is under we...


its amazing. i am always surprised at just how man...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Quick divorce in scotland

Is it true that the 2-year separation condition is bypassed in scotland or is not a requirement in scotland?

If a separating couple live in england, can they file for divorce in scotland to speed up the process...


on my understanding you can only file for divorce ...

You can only divorce in Scotland if you are eligib...

The Scottish residence criteria can be found at ht...

Online divorce companies claim that they are quick...

I thank you all for your contributions.....I noted...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Its a farce (part 45869695)

Just thought I would update how court went...

The ex had taken me to court (strange how I've never taken HIM to court yet it was our 5th time there this year). He wanted more contact with the boys and his girlf...


Forgot this bit - the ex's solicitor has said the ...

Oh juggler,

You can only do what yo...


i dont quite understand. i thought he wanted more ...

Yes, he asked for more contact (weekends including...

well there you go. if his girlfriend cant go a few...

We're back in court on November 16th :-( Very disa...
A horizontal rule
Subject: update

hi all...

just an update...

No1 son in 'big school' (he has only been there for this term and Darth X has made complaints about the staff already calling them racist!)

No2 son at d...


Hi Obi,

Wow lots of changes :)


Hi Obi....

Just need to keep duckin...


ahh... didnt explain that too well...



Back in uniform aint that bad.....
You get ...


possibly- I was surprised it fitted...



Ah OBI,

Uniform Lovely nothing like...


From my experience, albeit not quite as long as yo...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Why oh why

I am astounded yes I shouldn't be but I am and again the person hurting is our D.

She is 16 has her friends of course, arranges to spend time with Dad he then cancels she arranges again and he cancels this has ...


as Freud once remarked- 'sometimes a cake is just ...

yes he is a jerk.

I have stopped ju...


I have been through similar with my ex h. When he ...

Thanks chirpy,

Yes we do always end...


hi kat.

its crap. i hate some of wh...

A horizontal rule
Subject: h throws another non susrprise!

i guessed over a month ago from comments made by my 6 year old that h's gf was most probably pregnant. h sends text last weekend telling me the predicted news. he wants to tell children. i suggested he wait since she is only ...

Hi,

As hard as it is I would try no...


phew stuart. you've had your fare share too then.<...

You could watch this space.....or just let it all ...

What is it about rings?!

When I lef...


tee hee hee.
yip. h turned up this morning ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Just wanted to say hi

Hello everyone its been a while since I was here as I needed a period of time to cme to terms with everything that happened in the last 3.5 years of separation, divorce and residency matters.

All is quiet here ...


Great to hear from you again. It gets so much easi...

Thats so true about acceptance setting in STIDW. <...

HI tills,

So good to hear from you ...


hi tilly... nice to hear you feel better about thi...

What years lost Obi? I don't feel I have lost any ...

the years lost to spiteful, selfish people that se...

Its up to you if you want to give them those years...

if a tree falls in a forest and noone hears does i...

dum de dah etc etc etc.

Obi you can choose to let the facts destroy you or...

still as funny as ever Joyce...

Owl...


I am not a robot either Obi. I feel the whole rang...

I see what you are saying- however, I just don't a...

I think it is in the range of a normal human to no...

As I indicated above- we just need to agree to dis...

I agree Obi. I think the essential difference betw...
A horizontal rule
Subject: How do I get out of this marraige?

Never posted on here before, desperate for advice/support:
Been married 9 years with 6 year old son. I've been unhappy for many years, my husband has been aggressive with violent tendancies, treated me like s**t and b...


Who has been the main carer of your child during t...

How do you go to work if he doesnt let you leave?<...

I went through a rather similar experience 5 years...

Perhaps Im just a tad stupid but if things are lik...

You are not a tad stupid Stuart, just a little ign...

Its not a bad idea, Stuart, but I'm all for keepin...

"Go around and arrest the perpetrator for assault ...

Hi Sarah.
First, let me say, I know exactly...


I meant to say previously, a dear friend of mine w...

Good news for your friend Stu but even then she to...

My friend didnt stay with her ex out of fear, she ...

Yes but that does not mean the hubby was afraid of...

She was too afraid of what would happen to her ex ...

So she was the one afraid not him Stuart and it wa...

Oh ok Owl...... clearly you know my friend far bet...

No I don't know your friend better than you Stuart...

lol nothing changes...

Perhaps Obi having been in a similar predicament y...

Report him to the Police.
Get him removed f...


Its sad Obi you feel like a chump. Thats not somet...

that i took that rubbish off her?

i...


Oh, I still feel stupid for marrying my ex (althou...

Don't beat yourself up about it Obi and Juggler.

abuse can also be very subtle. its the daily or we...

Ok owl....I will give in and answer you one last t...

Stuart, I 'd be afraid of someone who beat me whil...

Ok....
A horizontal rule
Subject: Finding a home is really hard

So I have been looking and looking and looking for somewhere for me and the kids to live and there is nothing around. All the agents have a list of my requirements and are soing all they can to find something for me. I have n...

Kat I don't know the rental market and rules in th...

I am with Owl on this one. You are going to have t...

I agree with all you say above regarding moving on...

Kat - you are right that you can both expect the o...

Kat, just leave your conveyancing sol to work thro...

Cheers owl for the kind words.

Yep ...


Kat, if he can't get a loan approved to meet the n...

Ah sorry owl I was not very clear, the court order...

Kat why has your sol not sought to enforce the ord...

Spouse maintenance can be enforced and the respond...

Stids thanks for that advice.

The h...


whilst i should always recommend that court action...

Kat the good news in your post above is that if th...

I wonder though whether now she has found out that...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Finding a Solicitor (Derby)

Hi guys
This is my first post and I'm afraid there may be many more as me and my wife are going to be talking about starting with divorce proceeding very soon.

I have been recommended a good sol in Nott...


Pop down to your local CAB and they should have a ...

It is a good idea to have a solicitor local to the...

Thanks Kat007 and sometimesitdoesn'twork. Apprecia...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Implications of Selling the House before Divorce

Hi Friends, Just wanted to know if I sell my house to my brother for the outstanding mortgae of around £40,000, before I get a divorce and before my wife was to find out, where do I stand legally? The house is worth around ...

OOH don't do it.

Info is the house ...


The house is not in joint names and the marriage i...

Yes. Don't do it.

I thoight you were a woman rashadjee. I'm sure you...

How thick are you Rash??

Of course ...


The court can set aside dispositions intended to r...

i can see why your marriage didn't work. you sound...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Message of hope / Emotional support

Hi All,

There seems to be plenty of support and advice available on legal and financial matters but very little help to cope with the emotional trauma of divorce. We deal with the practicalities while inside an...

A horizontal rule
Subject: house stuff

So house sold subject to contract, nothing signed and have had legal advice not to sign anything until,

1. I have secured a property for my children and myself which is turning out to be impossible, no rental p...


Hi kate I was in a similar situ a few years ago-un...

Thanks Tania,

I have written to the...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Should I call it a day?

Where do I begin. Been seperated for nearly 5 years, divorce finally through July this year :) Got three children 17, 15, and 6. My ex had an affair and moved in with gf, had no contact wth the children for 2 years. Contact t...

You can't change other people's behaviour, you are...

another great post by stids,

Chirpy...


Thanks for your replys. It is always nice to get s...

It sounds as though you are doing all the right th...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Need advice -

Hi, I really could do with some advice. My x has picked up our daughter from school for the first time and he was going to return her that day. However, that was yesterday. He still has her but tonight hes called and shes cry...

I don't think there is very much you can do just ...

thanks so much. Doing best not to let it worry me,...

I forgot to mention there is a court application f...

im not sure that id wait til next monday. thats a ...

It's important to deal with these types of applica...

ah! silly me.
A horizontal rule
Subject: This is descending into a farce :-(

I found out yesterday that the ex went to court on Wednesday. Not for any of the 4 allegations I already knew about...

He was ordered to provide a CRB check and his complete police files by 21st July. He has JU...


How on earth do you know all of the details of the...

I met the woman in question.

Sorry, was interrupted there.

Stuar...


Well actually not everyone was sympathetic!!
...


You would think by now I would know he has a devio...

Stuart has a point, it's important to stand back a...

Jugs,

When he is charged with an of...


Yes, a bit of distance from him would be good. Eas...

False allegations are annoying but courts look at ...

I don't know why, but I had presumed his criminal ...

Criminal proceedings are only relevant in children...

Or, criminal propceedings can be used to show that...

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, this i...


Hang on....so many people tell fibs in court....

Well, the ex's fibs have never been used again him...

And I would be surprised if they ever are!!
...


hi.
i totally sympathise with you. my h is ...


Thanks, Why.

Stuart, as I said a fe...


Err....for the record Im not a policeman....used t...

Oh, I don't know where I got that from then! :-S
A horizontal rule
Subject: Email Surveillance & Password Recovery Service


Have you recently wondered if your spouse is cheating on you?
Do you need Marital Infidelity Evidence?
Do you see Signs of Infidelity?
We are a team of experienced computer professionals from US,...


Hacking and arranging to hack is a criminal offen...

Aiding and Abetting is also a crime.

...


Gordon Brown is a twit

No, I said a silly message, idiots. Have another ...

Netgroup surveillance are a bunch of chancers.

Hey, clever. You've done it. You passed the test...

Why do the owners of this site allow such adverts?...

Trouble is, anyone tempted may find that they pay ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: information needed.

Hello all. Its been a long long time that I have been on this site. I dont know if sims is still on as he helped me a lot. Anyway a few years ago i won custody of my 3 children and being a Dad that was quite an achievment ...

The problem is that at 14 your D's views will carr...

Mitmop,

This isn't an issue you can...


Ok thanks for the replies. I am quite shocked at ...

im not surprised at your daughter running off etc....

I would try to keep in indirect contact through em...

So she's just started her GCSE year. You need to b...

well its been a few weeks now and i havent heard f...
A horizontal rule
Subject: so we sorted it hmm(follow on from thread below)

Well thats what I thought.

So had a chat with our s at the suggestion of the ex and sorted everything to S's satisfaction e-mailed the ex to let him know the arrangements that he said our S wanted and still he...


just make sure that all your responses are calm an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Ex's girlfriend.....


I have received rather unpleasent emails form my ex's girlfriend.
And i'm at the point of not knowing what to do any more.
I have not resonded to these emails, as I know thats what she wants.
She...


hi keephappy,

Wello done you for no...


Hi...

You are not alone. Well done ...


might be sweeping but most of the time very true. ...

Thank ya Kat....lol...x



Thank you both.

The children are a ...


You are doing all you can to maintain contact for ...

If he wont talk to you then you cant force him too...

Keephappy, he doesn't want to speak to you because...

A very good post Suvla....

Just wo...


Oh yes...

Thank you Suvla.

The extract is so ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Ex Is at it again

As you are aware I was granted custody of the kids this year due to major problems at the ex's house, I managed to sort contact out, got the kids and dad's back together everything running smoothly until today he has e-amiled...

of course he thinks you are stupid. ex's tend to r...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Hols and more...

Re last weeks holiday question - it doesn't matter any more. SS has had it drummed into her she can't be away from mummy for more than 7 days. I'm not about to put any more pressure on her from this side on the matter.
...


Normally I am very "anti" children calling anybody...

Good call Skovby. You reminded me about the beers ...

i dont like the idea that a child calls someone mu...
A horizontal rule
Subject: minimising costs from decree nisi to consent order!

My wife and myself are in agreement as to the financial split of the sale proceeds of the marital home. so hopefully we can soon proceed towards the consent order, having already got the decree nisi. However my lawyers are pa...

There is actually quite a lot of skill and knowled...

Many thanks for above comment. I am now wondering ...

There are online companies who do consent orders b...

Hi Uncle D -
for whats its worth I went th...


Ouch! I'm not sure if the comment about those havi...
A horizontal rule
Subject: transfer between english & scottish courts possible?

hi.

as many of you know h has taken my sister in law to court over over an alleged debt which sheis defending.

he has applied it to an english county court which is nowehere near where he lives n...


Hi Why?

Well well, things just get ...


thanks kat.

yes. it gets worse. got...


14 holidays in 10 months?

They must...


hi stuart.
the holidays are relevant. he cl...


Can you just clarify.

Who actually...


hi john.
yes we have half the business, oth...


back on subject here,

This sister i...


hi kat.

the total figure is £3,500...


so if you can't find anything in your personal sta...

if the money was given from the business then i ha...
A horizontal rule
Subject: An urgent short question?

So had an offer on the house, ex has accepted it without even consulting me. It is lower than the asking price bu £3k so not too bad. The buyers are still waiting for the offer from there bank as need 100% mortgage, they are...

Presumably best to set completion of sale of prope...

what do you mean rental alternative, there is no a...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Domestic Violence- wife battering experienced by friend

I have been happily divorced for some time now but recently the vicissitudes of married life reappeared by proxy, when a lady who lives in my area knocked on my door, recently, in tears with evidence of having had a severe b...

Hard one, thankfully never having been on the reci...

Hi there. I wasn't going to respond to this one b...

London
Why do you think this woman knocked ...


Thanks very much for all views expressed
I ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Hi everyone :)

Just thought I would stick my head around the virtual door and see how you all are?

Ex still is not adhering to the court order and not paying the bills still, I am just skint skint skint and having to find the...


Nice to hear from you kat. You seem fine. I would ...

Oh CO,

Just remember don't give up ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Divorce - advice, please!

Hi,

I am a new comer to this, so apologies for any technical (and non-technical) mistakes. This is very hard to me, but I would appreciate advice on divorce settlement and child maintenance.

My s...


There is some basis to what H says. After a short ...

Thank you very much for this comment. I will look-...

The crazy law is whoever gets the child benefit ge...
A horizontal rule
Subject: DIY Divorce Petition Help, help and more help

Hi everyone

I am having to try and complete a Divorce Petition to hand into court and struggling with a few things... hoping someone can help me?

First thing I am stuck with section three.. this ...


Also just posted another comment on financial sect...

"The petitioner and respondent are both domiciled ...

thanks for the advice Sometimes, I am grateful for...

I rang the court today and spoke with a clark and ...

Solicitors letters and phone calls do rack up the ...

umm well on my marriage cert it states my maiden n...

Ok all filled in, on the prayer bit I have just le...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Can anyone answer a legal/policey question for me?

Hello again.

My ex has been arrested and released on bail (for fraud).

Does anyone know how serious things have to be to actually get arrested, rather than just questioned? And what about bail? I...


Police have to arrest in order to question. So act...

Just re-read your bit about bail.

W...


Thanks, Stuart.

Don't have any more...


lol....its ok....it has something to do with the a...

When you apply for Bail, you have to convince the ...

Well, you learn something every day!

...


The Court will look at the case. Prosecution will...

"As for the Police arresting him, you can be arres...

Thanks, both.

I was talking to my D...


can I ask why you are concerning yourself with all...

Not especially, its just something new to me that ...

Blimey, this is all to do with Indictments on a ch...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Residence order

Hi.

I split from my partner 6 months ago, we have 3 children together and were not married.

A friend has suggested that I make an application to court for a residence order as otherwise he would ...


Does your former partner have Parental Responsibil...

I am told he does have parental responsibility as ...

Penny, what Stidsy is saying although in very prof...

I have learnt a lot of home truths over the past y...

The courts have a no order principle and will only...

He has stated he might be moving abroad and he has...

You can ring up the passport office, explain the ...

You would be wasting your time and money by runnin...

hi.

i sympathise with you. i was co...


"if your ex is someone you can depend upon and tru...

hi stuart.

i disagree. some people ...


Not convinced Im afraid.

Marriage i...


yes. bvut what if only ONE party was to blame for ...

I agree that there those couples who grow apart an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Harrassment?

My ex husband and I have been divorced for about 5 years now. He has moved on - married with a baby and a step-daughter. I have also moved on. I'm living with my partner - getting married next year. I'm PWC of mine and ex...

I dont think this is harrassment in the truest leg...

Harassment is a criminal offence under the Harassm...

Sorry, that should be might or might *not* work.

i was just about to reply to you when...... out of...

Hi, he's not a happy bunny, is he? Taking a pop at...

Why?....you are very naughty....you just about hij...

Ess, have you considered responding to his complai...

i agree with lazy lizzies bit about the court. per...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Holidays

Help me out here.

I put it to the ex tonight that I would like to take SS to Canada on a family holiday next year - explaining that my shifts were favourable at the Easter holidays, thus minimising time off sch...


I think Canada needs two weeks (at least !), but a...

I don't really think the ins and outs of what a 6 ...

Agreed, her reaction was expected. The reason I wa...

I doubt the dripping tap approach will work here I...

I think you should avoid trying to take her away d...

Oh come on.....

As long as he clear...


Stuart, I think BFS's d might be in Scotland and I...

Im sure you will find that schools in England (at ...

Td
That's exactly what I am trying to do. I...


For the record, SS comes regularly. Stayed for 9 d...

Stuart, BFS's ex will still be able to tell people...

Hi BFS,

Holidays what a nightmare w...


hi bfs.
as you know i had issues about my y...


"my 6 year old could easily go away with her dad f...

During the war, kids were evacuated to unknown add...

Pidcatgeons

I agree - the mood here...


I've been pondering what you said Tea. I think it ...

Hi BFS

Obviously we'll have to agre...


Point taken Tea. So, are we agreed our ex's are bo...

Point taken Tea. So, are we agreed our ex's are bo...

My oldest is 17 and came on holiday with me this y...

For the most part I agree with the boys. There mig...

note to tea.

hi. i think somehow i ...


Hi why. I was thinking of my situation with my ex,...

hi teadrinker. thats ok. i was just bit concerned ...

Had some experience with this this year. I wanted ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: DIY Divorce- What is the next step???

Hi

Process server has finally managed to serve petition and has sent me their affidavit and documents for exhibit.

What is the next step:

a) do the court get sent a copy of the aff...


Hi

You will need to send the proces...

A horizontal rule
Subject: What is Legal Separation???

Hi

Can some body explain about Legal separation ….. since my life with my Spouse is going miserable ……..,


What people usually mean when they refer to a lega...

Unlike divorce, a legal separation does not put an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: here's a thought....

so nowadays fairness and equality are considered by the courts to leave each party on a similar financial footing.

seems fair to me.

the payer of sm can cohabit/marry and it doesn't really make a...


Statute law only bars SM on remarriage because the...

I can see the logic of SM ending if the recipient ...

new spouses have duty to support each other this i...

"why is the new spouse of the payer not expected t...

So Why?, are you saying that you think that the pa...

I think Stuart has a point. If SM doesn't stop on ...

I suppose the most logical time for it to stop is ...

thats what im getting at teadrinker. when there ar...

I kind of see what you mean, though of course stop...

im not sure teadrinker as im no where near the sta...

I'm not sure that the rules about SM actually affe...

I go back to what STIDW said right at the start of...

every one has to take a bit of a knock back after ...

Im sorry why? but I dont see it like that.
...


In most cases SM is payable simply because there t...

hi stuart. no, i dont thinkyou should be paying sm...

I don’t think you can ever have complete equalit...

Have just realised that it wouldn't be as straight...

hi teadrinker. you make valid points. in a way im ...

I haven't read all of this, and don't want to get ...

"my solicitor has said that i should be asking for...

Scots law favours certainty to encourage pre-court...

How strange that he already has one ex that he pay...

Paying SM to first wife is considered under the s2...

hi. as far as i am aware. h has not had to pay sm ...

stuart. sm for life does not mean i need to remain...
A horizontal rule
Subject: It's done...

Hello all you lovely people from old,

Tis done, I am the proud survivor of a French divorce. I celebrated by breaking up with that nice man I'd been seeing for a year. Ok, no I didn't, it was ironic and rather ...


Congratulations on the divorce and having happy ch...

Bon soir Delphine, good to hear from you again. H...

Ah delphine,

Good to hear from you,...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Hello!!!!

Hi everyone,

what a great forum to find....I can;t believe how busy it is in here! It's good to know that I'm not the only one going through this and that, from what I've read so far, there are lots of you in ...


These are all the same person, aren't they?

i think you might be right. all ending in numbers ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: What to do next?

Hi to all,

I got divorce from my ex two year ago. I have two children. I and My ex mutually agreed upon that ex can meet their children at every weekend. But now a days she is not interested in meeting them. So...


Hi,

Just speak with your ex and fin...


Hi

Tony be cool.....dont think of y...


did any of you pass your english at school?
A horizontal rule
Subject: Parents Divorcing

Hi,

Why are My Parents Divorcing?


That is strange question. Please give us a brief h...

Yeah this is too strange, may be due to some miss ...

Probably because their kids are driving them mad.<...

There's a lot of strange things going on at the mo...

yes. ive noticed one or 2 very strange posts recen...

See;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Texas Divorce

Hi to all,

Are there any residency requirements in order to obtain a divorce in Texas?


In order to qualify for a divorce in Texas, one of...

You need an oil field and a ranch. Without those,...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Parents Rights and duties

To receive information from the other parent about the children’s health, education, and well-being, and to talk to the other parent about upcoming decisions concerning the children’s health, education, and well-being.

Hi

Fine good these are all some poi...


Strange. Do you have anything to add, John Doe?

Strange indeed. What is the problem Flower45?

que?
A horizontal rule
Subject: Child support

Hello everyone,

What are the conditions to be met by the child in order to receive the child support?



Child support is normally paid to a parent for the...

If the child turns 18 and graduates from high scho...

Hi and welcome onboard. Hope you found the answer ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Divorce expenses

Hi. I am new on the board and don’t have much clue about the divorce procedure. My wife and I have been having problems in our marriage for around 2 yrs. We were unhappy with each other but I don’t know why, we never ment...

The divorce, finances and arrangements for childre...

Hi there. Sorry to hear about your situation. Stid...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Life after divorce

Hi

So not only the emotional battle of divorce and children's hearings , now I am happy in working in a small company and earning dollars......thks


Hi

Good.....Carry on with the rest ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: About Divorce

Hi i and my spouse have a misunderstanding

yeah pls apply divorce

hi

you need to consult a solicitor ...


Correction to Luther - you don't need a solicitor ...

what is your question or concern?

I think if you finished your sentences, she may be...

perhaps if you also started your sentences at the ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: joint house valuation

hi.
need to appoint joint house valuation. h has stipulated that he wants the house valued by a 'surveyor' and not an estate agent. does anyone know why?

he also requests that he be present during the v...


A valuation by a chartered surveyor will cost £40...

It isn't unusual for property to actually sell at ...

ok. so choosing a surveyor is nothing to be concer...
A horizontal rule
Subject: House.

Hi hope someone can give me some advice about the house.

Been divorced over a year the out come of the house was 25/75% in my fav, and if someone moved in after 6 months we brought him out, ok thats fine.
...


What are the exact terms of the order? There is of...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Change in Circumstances

I have been divorced for over two years now. On advice from solicitors at the time, I did not contest my ex to have the children the majority of the time, although I believe and continue to believe that it would be better to...

You have the children a great deal of the time and...

Thanks for the information.

Both my...


So using the same line of thought, if you were the...

But you have virtually 50:50 care and in twenty ye...

See "Ten Golden Rules to Protect Your Children Fro...

If I had a girlfriend move in of course I would no...

I don't think anyone's actually read what I've wri...

I've read what you've written, but I don't underst...

I read and fully understand what you are saying J5...

I am a nrp and don't feel that way at all Stuart s...

i can fully understand your feelings. i am however...

Aha but Owl you're a one off!! lol

...


"Of course she is fighting it.....well, come on, i...

I don't think it is really possible to generalise ...

Hi there. If you are concerned about the finances ...

I have tried talking to her about it but she just ...

The children appear to live with you for a good de...

Again you really don't seem to have read what I ha...

hi. again, homestly, i think you should sit this o...

Thanks why? I have read a couple of things you ha...

I have no axe to grind and there is no agenda. The...

Stuart my point is that we parents whether nrp pwc...

i guess my point was this. children will express t...

I'm puzzled by your talk of wanting to change the ...

Sorry guys, but I'm with the ladies on this one. <...

Perhaps Im misreading this....I thought J5773 was ...

Sure Stu, I get that. But unless ones life is incr...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Why is he so angry when he is with his GF and normal when he is with me.

So things have been ticking along nicely kids behaving just celebrated a 16th birthday(wasn't happy with the present got from dad) knew he didn't choose it. One going off on holiday with him and gf. Only down side he is still...

best not to have botheredanswereing his question i...

Kat I think I can answer your question.


Hi Kat. Good to hear about the positive things you...
A horizontal rule
Subject: CSA

CSA have suddenly stopped taking payment from my account without any expalanation.

My last months money is still in my account...My ex not allowing me to see kids and has notified police that I have hit my youn...


I forget to say.. I have been paying by direct deb...

Have you tried phoning the CSA? They aren't the mo...

Hi iwish,

This does sound more like...


Sounds like its the age old cash for contact story...

Stids and Kat are right. I think you need to get i...

The simple solution to this is to cancel the Direc...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Directions Hearing for Warning notice to Contact Order

Hi, just a quick question.
My children's father has applied to have a warning notice attached to our exisiting Contact Order, however, there is to be a directions hearing. Seems odd, but my question is, do I have to go...


I shouldn't think so. The court has no discretion ...

I've just read about people applying for a warnin...

Thanks sometimesitdoesntwork. I was wondering if C...

The source was a comment on a lawyer's blog the o...

Intresting, I never considered Sols blogs as a sou...

I've remembered who the commentator was. He runs...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Should I be over it by now?

Ok, hello. First time here and needs thoughts/opinions:

I've been divorced for three years. I found out that my wife of 26 years had been unfaithful (on one single day I found out about two previous affairs - w...


Hi Butterfly.
You sound like your in stuck ...


Welcome on board and sorry you are here, but I hop...

Hi there. Sorry to hear about your situation. It i...

i empathise with how you feel. some days i still ...

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the...


Well done, i know how hard it can be to be around ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: rant

is it just me... or is h just an extremely immature, unrealistic, selfish tosser?

girfriend no 2 taken to our village school to attend easter event with all parents present.

girlfriend no 3 taken...


Rant away by all means....this is the place to do ...

hi stuart.

i admit i have never bee...


Christ, I'm going to regret this....but bare with ...

phew.....! don't know what to say to all that. com...

I understand that your feelings take a bashing due...

Why -
Hi - If your x is messing you around...


hi nicola.
i know this may sound strange, b...


Sorry Why, perhaps "move on" was not the best phas...

I should have said - "No one has the power to hurt...

hi nicola.
just had some really devastating...


Well, Why, now you have been offered an opportunit...

Aside from your latest fight, did you take anythin...

Im not sure I want to read the details to be hones...

bfs. we have had no fight. i have not been in cont...

Sorry, I should have said aside from your latest d...

hi bfs.
ok. fair enough. i dont make myself...


What exactly is normal?

Because you...


hi.
correct. i can not diagnose a mental co...


I have been reading up extensively on neuro-surger...

I find it very unlikely that sometimesitdoesn'twor...

thats correct teadrinker.
i know what went ...


Tea drinker, yourve made some intresting points. I...

My ex also tried to make me feel worthless towards...

Seriously, DIY diagnoses of mental orders are a da...

Have a godd time TD xx

Well said sometimesitdoesntwork. You cannot negoia...
A horizontal rule
Subject: wants childrens passport details?

hi all.
h is due to take little ones away next week and then again the following week, all booked up etc. both trips require passports. the 2nd trip does not include our youngest daughter although i know he booked her ...


Does it really matter if you are going to be givin...

Hi Why
I booked some easyjet flights for CD...


thanks joyce. it does thank you. someone else told...

Yes, Im afraid it all does sound rather paranoid a...

hi stuart.
please dont think this stuart. i...


There is nothing wrong in wondering why but if H i...

i can't say i have not considered the possibility ...

If the bloke isnt likely to abduct the children th...

i thought there would be nothing worse if i turn u...

Ok...fair enough. I wasnt having a go. I just hate...

i know. i appreciate what you are saying but im re...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Seeking divorce under 2 yr separation

I have been living with my wife under the same roof for the past 11 months although we are not on talking terms. She has expressed her desire to seek divorce and I want it too. We are planning to seek divorce under 2 yr separ...

Yes, it will be counted as separation if you and y...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Re: Help

Hi, I'm a newbie to this board looking for clarification. I have the Decree Nisi, which was granted on 30th June,house is jointly owned and is under offer for £265,000, husband has informally agreed that I have majority of ...

Ancillary relief is the court procedure for dealin...

Good advice from stids already. Welcome onboard. P...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Cohabitating before financial settlement?

Hi. Pls. can someone tell me if I can start cohabitating with my np before the financial settlement is finalised. The proceedings started only approx 2 weeks back. I don’t know how long the settlement will take. What is the...

Is it actually going to make any difference? Despi...

As stids said, if you expect spousal maintenance, ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Ex not paying maintenance

My ex has not been paying maintenance for the past 2 months. We have a 6 yr old and it is very hard for me to manage all the expenses on my own. I work only part time because I need to take care of my daughter as well. The co...

When child maintenance is in a court order you can...

Ok. Thanks a lot for the helpful response.
A horizontal rule
Subject: Son seperation

How do i help my boy? He has recently been chucked out by his partner of 5 yrs. He,s so low at the moment. I just thank god for his little girl who i,m sure will help see him through it. His ex partner is already seeing someb...

Hi there,
I know it must be hard, and feel ...


Poor him. Given so very many women manage successf...

Hi. Sorry to hear that your son is going through s...

Hi thenks for replies. My son is now at angry stag...
A horizontal rule
Subject: I think stbx is trying to use me

Mt stbx has acted like a jerk for the most part of the d process and I have still found myself longing for him. I know I am stupid and I hate myself for it.

Yesterday, he called me up and asked me if I want to...


Hi there - Please stop being so hard on yourself!!...

Hi and welcome,

My ex does the same...


sounds to me like he knows you still have feelings...

Hi. You are on the right track so please pat yours...

you don't say if he has another relationship on th...
A horizontal rule
Subject: How do I cope?

I am in the middle of the divorce process. My husband and I decided to divorce 8 months back. No third person is involved but my ex seems to be doing so well and I am on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Much to my own disappo...

The first thing you have to realise is that it's n...

Hi there - I'm so sorry this is happening to you. ...

Hi. Good advice from Suvla and Bon already. Please...

I feel exactly the same. My husband left me 6 week...
A horizontal rule
Subject: sun_rise

So it is confirmed now that I will indeed be getting the inheritance. Do I need to tell ex about it? We did not opt for a clean break but I pay her regular maintenance.

Was there a court order either consent or imposed ...

Isn't this like a lottery win that if someone has ...

i dont know the answer but personally i find anyon...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Imprisonment etc

Hi. The contact order threatens imprisonment and other aggressive stuff how quickly do the court order this punishment to parents? It says for breach of order but is missing a contact really an enforcment issue?



Depends on the breach and how many times.
<...


All contact orders issued after 8 December 2008 ha...

We have a contact order. What is DV prevention pr...

When allegations of domestic violence have been in...

'a programme of individual and group work to chall...
A horizontal rule
Subject: mediation v court

Hi

When I received the letter from my ex-partner solicitor's there was no mention of mediation. Who should suggest this? Is it compulsory prior to a court application? He is after more contact having had an...


Either party can suggest mediation but it isn't co...

YOu can talk to him and reach agreement. That is w...

Hi. Good advice already. If you feel that mediatio...

Should have given more detail we are quite a way d...

Mediation can only really work when both parties c...

Thank you, although we are a long way down the tra...

You could suggest either mediation or collaborativ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: christmas

hi. me again. becoming a habit. all seems to come at once.
as some of you know i have had problems with contact. h refusing to see children, to cancelling at extremely short notice and not turning up, including special...


Is it not just a wee bit possible that you are put...

hi bfs.
i know from experience how my daugh...


I think the main thing is that the children are sp...

I am afraid I had the same view as BFS. My childr...

Hi why - In my opinion, the important thing for ch...

thanks bon.
i do actually 'accept' the way ...


I agree with Bon. You can't make your husband ch...

no chance the court would agree to split the day i...

Hi why. There seems to be little you can do about ...

Actually Why, you are guessing, at least to some d...

hi bfs.
the difference with you however is ...


We split Xmas day the first year he left and it wa...

Actually, like him I had an ex offering me things ...

hi bfs. i think the age of the children IS relevan...

I don't see any of what you said as relevant to wh...

i realise there is some selfishness in me wanting ...

I am a pwc and actually am quite happy for my son ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: What will happen to my inheritance now?

My w and I divorced 7 yrs back. I am entitled to receive an inheritance in the near future due to some changed circumstances. I want to know if will my wife have any claim to this inheritance?

If you don't have a court order finalizing the fin...

As s says it depends if you got a final court orde...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Its taking an age!

Just wanted to post as I've had a strange letter this morning, don't know what to make of it.

To re-cap, the ex moved a new girlfriend into his house (well, his mother's house) in November last year. They had b...


surely this is something your sol could sort out f...

Hi juggler - What a horrible time for you and just...

Unfortunately, the ex has to sign for the document...

Hi. Kat is right, I think you need to involve your...
A horizontal rule
Subject: some advice

I am planning on divorcing my wife becasue she walked out on me after having a lesbian affair.
I am worried that im gonna lose my flat and car if we have to split the money, both of which i obviously need(my car is an...


Ok depends on the length of the marriage if short ...

ok, well we've been married for 8 years and dont h...

also, we both have small pesions-probably about th...

Hi Juan,

Are both your names on the...

A horizontal rule
Subject: How to convice him for counselling?

I have suggested counselling to my husband several times but he thinks that counsellers are bu****. Our marriage has been rocky for so long and I don’t see any hope because we are unable to sort out things. He is being so d...

You can go to counselling on your own, even relati...

Hi there - As evr suggests, you can go to counseli...
A horizontal rule
Subject: A Father giving up contact

I feel so angry and then confused about this. What do you all think? I know Simes has sometimes talked here of men who give up trying to see their children because they are prevented and the years of problems, court cases and...

Hi TD. In my opinion, your perspective makes a lot...

It sounds as though nobody in this situation is tr...

TD, happened to pop back by chance.

...


actually simes I understood after two read through...

I agree with evr, yet totally understand where Sim...

Thanks everyone for replying. I’m using this as ...

td. i totally agree with you. i have lost a lot of...

Why, I think the school issue was that the dad dec...

TD, you would never understand it unless you were ...

Simes, I think not being able to imagine yourself ...

Simes, I fully understand what you are talking abo...

Stu, I think I would be more upset if my son was s...

I agree Simes. I'm often puzzled and guilted by th...

When I said "piss off" I meant that my son will vo...

Hi TD - It sounds to me like your friend is far to...

Long time since i posted here!!

Lik...


Stu, I did think that my comment seemed a bit arse...

I knew what you meant!!! lol
A horizontal rule
Subject: Don't know what to do

I divorced 2 yrs 7 months back. I have a 7 yr old son and a 12 yr old daughter. I met someone almost a year back through one of my friends and though we started off as friends, we have become very close now. He also has two k...

i think now he has mentioned this its time to talk...

I think that it is important that you spend adequa...
A horizontal rule
Subject: another little question

i am aware people have told me that 'maintenance' does not need to be disclosed for child tax credits. i want to get this clear. does that include spousal maintenance as well as spousal maintenance. and if so, does the 'amoun...

Cm and Sm are not included when claiming for Child...

thanks kat. will follow your advise. i can imagine...

"Tax Credit" is just a nice, albeit, confusing nam...

thank you skovby. i di wonder how on earth they co...

Child benefit is not income for tax credit purpose...

thanks again.

I had the maintenance argument with an officer fro...

must admit though. i didn't find their web site to...

interest of savings or investments of over £300 n...

yes. but their argument would be that their websit...

It is highly unlikely anyone will be awarded £2-3...

No-one with an income of 2-3million will ever reci...

hi kat. its ok. one of the posts further up clarif...

So you have been told a different figure than me o...

hi kat. yes i have always been told by people £60...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Can I contest grounds for divorce?

I have received a divorce notice on the grounds of unreasonable divorce. Even though I want to divorce, I do not agree on the grounds stated by my husband because they are defamatory and accusatory.

Do I need ...


There is very little point in wasting time or mone...

PS The finances and children are dealt with under ...

I agree with stids. You will need to conserve all ...

You can cross petition but there is no point as no...
A horizontal rule
Subject: What happens to the gifts??

Am I entitled to keep the wedding gifts that were given to solely me by my family? What about the gifts that his family gave to me (mostly jewellery for personal use)? Do I get to keep that as well? Thnx.

In England & Wales it isn't clear cut, it would de...

Ok. Thanks for the prompt response. I really would...
A horizontal rule
Subject: got his questions!

hi
as you know i was curious to know what possible questions ex could have for me. wow. unbelievable and a complete waste of time. i wont bore you with details but lets just say, he knows the answers to all of them and...


Hi why - As I expected from your previous post! He...

Hi why. I think you have got the crux of the issue...

yes folks. thanks. he is also being deliberately c...
A horizontal rule
Subject: trust & dependability

hello.
i understand that bad behaviour & conduct will only be taken into consideration when there are extreme examples. i have readsome examples of such behaviour.

my case is certainly with great concern...


I dont think so....

I was always to...


The Court's powers to award financial relief are n...

i have spoken to my solicitor but have told her i ...

As you say it purely goes to the issue of whether ...

thanks er. i don't expect a clean break although e...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Moving on

I am in the throws of divorce , some 7 months on from finding my wife was having an affair. Is it too soon to be trying to move on as I still think about the family life I used to have with my two sons and her.

It's never to soon to move on. However, if it rela...

If you want to start dating again, only you can an...
A horizontal rule
Subject: C78 - Warning attachment to contact order

Hi all, I could do with a little advice.
Since 8 Dec 2008, warnings letters are now attached to any new contact orders. I have a contact order pre dating this time and my x is trying to get now one attached. Whilst it...


Yes, the legal reforms were partly directed agains...

Thanks so much for clarifying that. I was hoping t...

STIDW, are you saying that the courts are now able...

Stuart, it came about under the Child Adoption Act...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Looking for couples to interview

Do you know any couples who have divorced, only to remarry at a later point?

I am a freelance journalist looking for a couple to interview for a feature story in Good Housekeeping magazine. They would need to ...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Do I have a right on FH?

Hi. I want to keep the FH and don’t know how to tell this to ex. He has been paying the mortgage payments because I am not working and taking care of the kids. I know I am being stupid by thinking about the fairness aspect ...

Can you afford to take on the mortgage?


As Stuart says it doesn't matter whose name the fo...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Why is it always stormy when kids return home

Son has again returned from the ex, albeit should have been with me for the weekend but gave it up so they could do something ex had organised. Compromise is easy when he lets it happen. So Son gave me a message dad wants thi...

Hi kat - You rant away! Well done for handling suc...

Hi Bon,

Yes hate her with a passion...


Well done kat! You keep purging that hate and ange...

Cheers Bon,

I do think I can keep t...


Great advice from Bon already. Sorry to hear that ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: STBX?

Hi there, I'm a newbie to the board - technically not divorced any more as I re-married 12 months ago, but still do experience difficulties with hubby's ex-wife and step children, and all the associated dramas that this pulls...

stbx stands for 'soon to be ex'.

Thanks Why.....thanks for your response. :o)

Hi there and welcome! Yes, there is a bit of jargo...

Hi there and welcome onboard. We do tend to use a ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: I want to close joint back accounts

My stbx and I have 3 joint bank accounts. We are still living together but I want to close these accounts asap. How easy is it to get it done? Will they inform him if I do? Do I need his signatures somewhere too? How soon do...

you can't close joint bank accounts on your own, y...

evr is bang on about the issue. Since it is a 'joi...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Men with Two heads LOL

So does this happen?

It appears so, as you know my ex H and I for months after he left continued sleeping with each other (not the best move). And as you know over the last 8 months he has practically begged me...


"Anyone experienced this sort of thing?"


Hi kat - Yep, my x was the same! We split because ...

Sulva,

In your case yes it is thank...


My former step father in law was the same.
...


Great story Suvla - really made me chuckle!
...


no never had this happen to me. however. i remembe...

Well here's a thing was talking to a friend today ...

Or on the other hand they are just Greedy.

Well, well, all the stories. It made me laugh (in ...

Hi Kat. How are you doing? Your ex seems to have m...

That's what I thought, and yes so many people here...

Hi Katt - long time hun and I hope you're keeping ...

Rover,

How fantastic to hear from y...

A horizontal rule
Subject: whats your view.

hello.
as many of you know. h andi separated 7 months ago now. he has had 3 girlfriends in this time. one of these girlfriends he claimed would be moving in with him then a week or two later it ended. he then met someo...


Hi why? - I really feel for you! Well done for bit...

I do not entirely agree with Bon as far as the 2 y...

thank you both. bon, i am relieved to hear stidw v...

Ok WHY,

Yes I agree with not wantin...


It's too long for the 2 year old. We left a 1 and ...

thank you er. must admit, i really do enjoy my bre...

Hi, Ive not posted any responses on these boards f...

hi stuart.
thank you for your comments. i a...


one more point id like to make which i think is va...

Arguments about poor parenting rarely get anywhere...

Children are all little individuals, with their ow...

yes. my little girl sleeps overnight at her dads n...

Oh dear....Joyce the poisonous snake has raised he...

Sorry WHY....I meant to respond before I finally s...

nooooooooo! stuart. she has only just turned 2 and...

Hi why - The latest discussion leaves me wondering...

hi bon.
i do have to disagree with you. i d...


Hi why. Good pointers from everyone so I don't hav...

I would just ask myself what the likely outcome wo...

I would just ask myself what the likely outcome wo...

It has nothing to do with parenting skills, it is ...

"I would just ask myself what the likely outcome w...

yes. personally speaking. forget the parenting ski...

37 months J. Why don't you think she could cope wi...

hi bfs. not at all. i wont be having the same argu...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Contested divorce?

I will be filing for a divorce. I know that wife will contest it. What are my options if she contests it? Can I still go ahead and get a divorce albeit a court battle? Or do I have to wait for 5 years after separation? We hav...

I assume that she doesn't want a divorce then?


Hi there - My x tried to do the same. From the lit...

Although some people say they will defend a divor...

If she hasn't really been unreasonable it would be...
A horizontal rule
Subject: What can I do?

Can't find my old thread, but basicly, was told to leave by my wife after 12 yrs marriage. Got solicitor, agreed to mediation. Agreed to split house when my child was 18, unless she co-habited or married.

After...


Your solicitor is wrong here, if you want to do so...

Hi Christian - I'm sorry this is happening to you....

Sadly I think your solicitor is correct, there isn...

Thanks for replys. The other thing that worries m...

This is a drawback with these types of arrangement...
A horizontal rule
Subject: How do courts handle this?

My wife is not working at the moment. We have been talking about divorce for quite sometime now. She was working earlier and left it a year back because her workplace shifted. Then she never got back to working again. Now I ...

The courts can suggest she find a job but no-one c...

Hi Derek. Kat is right. The courts cannot force an...

Others are spot on, a court cannot force someone t...

Hi Derek - I'm wondering what your wife's feelings...

Hi and thanks to everyone. Bon- my wife has been a...

if you can speak with your wife first about the fi...

Actually I think it is a good idea to find a lawye...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Why won't she leave me alone?

After weeks of waiting for my money, finally got an email from my exhusband (as of Friday) Except it wasn't from him, it was "her" again. I read the first few lines, realised it was from her and pressed delete so I don't kno...

Perhaps life isn't exciting enough for her/him now...

Suvla19415, I feel your pain and anger as I have b...

Hi sulva - Well done you for not rising to her bai...

Flippin hell,

Seriously has that wo...


Good advice from everyone already. Please try to r...

Its quite amazing how many adulterers really belie...

Thanks for comments. No, didn't sound very calm di...

I've experienced this kind of intrusion too. My h...

Guilt and the knowledge that she brought it on her...

It sounds as though they feel you're harassing the...

Oh go away Joyce have you been waiting in the wing...

And yes I did ask my husband why he had left me.

Glee?? What are you talking about??

Suvla....

Ignore Joyce....she is ju...


Suvla, ignore Joyce, you don't have to justify yo...

Now, I wasnt going to post anymore but I feel comp...

Hi Suvla
I can see you have become very ups...


Suvla - I'm genuinely surprised, and extremely sor...

Suvla - please rest assured that you are not haras...

> Am I harrassing my clients when I ask them to pa...

'Now why don't people just play nice... acceptance...

Joyce your analogies don't work. This is not someo...

Coo....I can smell something awful here.....more B...

OK, I read the title of the thread, and then I fli...

Stuart wasn't talking about the pregnant mother of...

ahhh, I see.. I am getting confused given Stuart'...

Joyce you really are a stupid creature arent you?<...

I meant to comment on this fantastic line...
...


Joyce - not going into "combative mode" - just wis...

Hyperbole rules ok!

Numerous wives ...


"Had I been her H's NP, I probably would have felt...

Im sorry to say that Joyce is nothing more than a ...

Owl - is that a Freudian slip in your last line - ...

Sanctamonious shit as usual Joyce.....

No freudian slip Joyce, its just acknowledging tha...

'I have to say, I do think Suvla's email to her ex...

Owl and Evr - My guess is that they split up about...

Two years ago.

We were still togeth...


I don't generally go in for your habit of reading ...

I'm very pleased to see you back suvla. Please do...

Hey Mrs PhD.....

Im reading between...


Suvla
Here's your account of the ocassion y...


ahh.. reeading that last once again, perhaps you r...

You are really showing your spiteful side Joyce, w...

No need to reply, but I do find it very disturbing...

Suvla...

You dont have to justify y...


Hi Suvla, good to see you back.

Joy...


Actually Owl I think you might be onto something t...

Suvla - nothing sinister at alll.... I am just ble...

Owl, that's rich calling me spiteful... glad you ...

Then perhaps you can perfectly recall things more ...

Joyce, I don't think Suvla's posts that you have r...

Owl,
As to Suvla's behaviour - well for onc...


Err.....Joycie.....you really have lost the plot.....

joyce, your post was polite?? What a very odd ide...

You do not stop do you?
What is wrong with...


Joyce I suspect Suvla if she was paid her money is...

Suvla
It is just my take on things, and you...


No joyce, you are identifying with a couple who ar...

I dont' know Suvla's ex or his np, and I have no i...

Yes, all you know is what suvla has told you, whic...

"But I doubt your ex agrees. I suspect he thinks y...

Oops Joyce just noticed my freudian slip.
...


Not quite sure what a barnpot (???) is but I do th...

Joyce, when did I say Suvla should be ashamed of h...

Can just ask why we are all answering Joyce?
...


I'm not particularly interested in talking to joyc...

Owl... your post is exactly what I mean about you ...

No he hasn't been actually...

Stop ...


Its not a credit card bill, but it is a bill and s...

Joyce, your perfect recall is not working very wel...

"Love doesn't die a natural death. Love has to be ...

I still think that the whole concept of Joyce havi...

Evr - I wasn't familiar with your quote so I googl...

Owl - I presume you come from a fairly priviledged...

I wasn't claiming anything for the quote joyce. I...

It was no trouble. Further, if you set great stoc...

This is all getting very boring joyce. What a ver...

Perhaps you misunderstand Joyce. The comments I pu...

"now that i've gone back down again, its worse tha...

Joyce, you make many wrong presumptions. I am not ...

My kids don't ask for or expect anything either bu...

Oh and btw Joyce I take it you won't be taking up ...

Owl - it's nice to know your mother valued your ed...

Did it take you 5 frigging days to find the quote ...

I was quite enjoying the thread. I thought the hi...

Joyce your postings don't indicate you are a remot...

Joyce I don't claim any insight of what your husba...

>Good to hear your d will benefit from a Trust fun...

So your husband isn't a beneficiary of the Trust J...

It's not odd at all that they set up the trust - m...

ok... I couldn't quite figure out why this was bu...

lowest yet joyce
A horizontal rule
Subject: Tax credits question

Hi. Does anyone know what kind of tax credits I can claim after divorce? I have a 4 yr old and spouse does not want custody. Thanks. And at what stage can I claim these credits? If I separate can I start claiming them immedia...

You can claim tax credits as soon as you separate ...

Thnx for the reply and sending the link. I will ge...

Hi shrimp. Welcome aboard. You can count on stids ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Have to tell my teenage daughter

My husband and I are divorcing. we have a 15 yr old daughter. She already knew things were rough but I don’t know how to break the news of divorce to her. I told my husband that we should do it together but I am shocked tha...

Hi there - I'm really sorry this is happening. In ...

Oh sweetie, this is horrible, we told our kids tog...

It is really important that he is there too. It m...

Talking to teenagers can be tricky because their e...

Hi again - I just wanted to say I hope all goes we...

hi. i hadhoped that we would tell our children tog...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Please help!

Married for 22 years - ex walked out unexpectedly 18 months ago after admitting to seeing somebody else. Have now taken on all bills apart from mortgage which he still pays. A few weeks ago I said I would like the garage key ...

Without details of the value of assets including p...

Hi there - I am really sorry this is happening to ...

Hi and thanks for the advice. As far as assets are...

Hi. Your situation does seem very tough but please...
A horizontal rule
Subject: A Little Advice Please :-(

To cut a long story short... Got married at 16, husband was exceptionally abusive, left after 7 months and I have never seen him since. I am now 35, in a relationship with wonderful man and we have decided that we want to ge...

The first thing is to apply to the Principal Regi...

PS Court officials can help and would check your f...
A horizontal rule
Subject: cafcass report

I got the report this week. It was very short and looked like they just type a different name at the top and send 10 out a day.

It said contact to be reduced to every other weekend and holidays to be shared 50:...


It's important to remember the judge will normally...

Thanks stidw, you have given me a couple of ideas ...

Hi CO,

Seems like stids has given s...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Wife is abusing me

I have been living in a abusive relationship ever since my marriage. She is not physically abusive but verbally and emotionally, she can be very hurtful. I did not know this side of her when we got married. I mean, she was al...

Hi there - I am so sorry this is happening to you....

I had something similar. When we went through this...

The matter should then be returned to and addresse...

Also, sorry to rain on Bon's parade, but I did the...

Hi. Sorry to hear about your situation and underst...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Feeling confused

My wife and I separated 8 months ago. We parted mutually even though she was more strong-minded than I was. I wasn’t sure about separation or divorce but she seemed very sure about separation and also divorce. She said we c...

I forgot to add that she thought we should separat...

Counselling - way to go.

Hi there and welcome! It sounds like after 8 month...

Great advice from Bon already! It is important to ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Consent order?

Hi. I want to divorce my husband but sure about the process or terminology. We do not have children. If I divorce, do I need a consent order? Or is it just required when you have children? When do you need it?

In England & Wales the divorce and the 'ancillary'...

Hi and welcome aboard. Great advice from stids! Ho...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Filing Docs

I have received an order from the High Court regarding my children. EX Parte. The divorce took place not in UK. It is the 1st document to come out of the UK Law Courts. Ex wife has a new UK lawyer. The issue is that I w...

If they are relevant documents should be filed wit...

If CACFASS become involved do they see the court r...

Sorry one more question.

Is it ju...

A horizontal rule
Subject: Quickie divorce?

Thinking about a quickie divorce. How easy is it? Been married for a little less than 2 yrs. No kids. Live in a rented house. Has anyone here done it before?

There is only one divorce procedure and there is...

Must be psychic - "a quickie divorce is a fallacy...

Online divorce companies claim that they are quick...

they are just cheaters so save your money
A horizontal rule
Subject: Telling my parents this weekend

I will be telling my parents about my divorce this weekend. I have been delaying it for the past 3 weeks. They have no idea how rough things have been on me so I think they will be in a state of shock. My wife has been cheati...

Hi. It can be tough to address this issue with you...

Hi there - I'm thinking about you and your parents...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Some advice please

Hi,

Just looking for some advice.

My son will be 12 in October and over the past few months has increasingly expressed a desire to live with me. He is very unhappy with his mum who is pregnant an...


The wishes and feelings of a 12 year old carry gre...

Hi,

Thanks for replying.


Sorry to be brutally honest, but your lad is a big...

Ouch.

Stu, if I was able to chat to...


Hi Stu - As you know, this is a tough one! In my o...

Thanks for all of your comments...

...


Stuart, just two points.

"What I th...


Valid points STIDW - as usual!!!

I ...


Hi again - I don't think you should let it go, so ...

STIDW I agree with the points you raise above.

A horizontal rule
Subject: What can I do?

I had been living with my partner for the past 9 yrs. not married but we have a 4 yr old son. Now he wants to end it. I cannot complain because we both never wanted to get married. But I didn’t think that he would want to e...

Oh dear, unfortunately there are many people optin...

Thanks for the detailed reply. Much appreciated. I...
A horizontal rule
Subject: court order

hi
its been a while since i visited here. I am now happily married again.
so just for those of you who think it wont ever happen it can.
I have a question re court orders.
at my divorce proceedin...


The problem with Meshers is often the person livin...

I agree with STIDS - seek proper legal advice on t...
A horizontal rule
Subject: contact

what can i do? i believe courts can not enforce contact between a father and his children. h has constantly let me down at the last minute, often without reason or with poor excuses. because i believe in children maintaining ...

You can apply for a contact order to regulate cont...

his reasons or usually social. there are business ...

I'm not sure why you can't have friends around whe...

i understand what you say. of course i can have fr...

A contact order can more or less have in it whatev...

yes. contact is the right of children? is it thoug...

In determining contact the court must give regard ...

thank you. i dont want to control his contact. the...

"i just dont want him controlling my contact. ie: ...

that is what i was afraid of. i had hoped i could ...

Hi why? - It sounds like your x is doing all he ca...

hi bon. thank you.
until this week i have n...

A horizontal rule
Subject: I'm off

For a well deserved holiday, a week in the sun to regroup. My middle one has had her prom recently and look absolutely gorgeous I feel this day signals the start of growing up for her and she was scared luckily we have talked...

Bon voyage!

Have as lovely holiday - get those batteres rechar...

Have fun!

Hope you have a lovely time. You deserve it!x

It is a well deserved break indeed! Hope you have ...

Had a wonderful time thanks guy's, was hot hot hot...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Need advice

I divorced 3 yrs back. I have a 7 yr old son who lives with me. My np and I want to start living together. Is it ok for a child to live in this kind of an arrangement? Can anyone share whether it has been good or bad for them...

You need to be aware just because you love your n...

Good advice from stids already. There is a lot of ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Big thankyou

Just wanted to drop a line to say thanks to those who posted with advice to a query I had a few weeks back concerning fears I had of my ex abducting our children to a non-hague convention country. By way of update I self repr...

Glad to hear it worked out and you found the site...

Hi Happyheart. It is good to hear that all went we...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Should I change sols?

Hi. I have been seeing my sol for the past 4 months now and I still don’t feel comfortable with her. Should I just a little longer and see how it goes or should I change? Does it usually take long to feel comfortable around...

It really depends on why you don't feel comfortabl...

Hi. I think it is important to consider the facts....
A horizontal rule
Subject: Advice please

I have been separated from my husband for the past 7 yrs. I want to divorce now because I want to be with my np. I want to serve divorce petition but I want to protect my assets beforehand. Anything I can do to do that? Any a...

I assume there are no longer a joint bank account...

Hi. Stids has given great advice already. All the ...
A horizontal rule
Subject: Settlement

Married for 29 years & I feel this is the end of the road for us.
Will savings, property etc be shared equally?
Would appreciate any advice from someone who has been married the same length of time and has come ...