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Subject: Increasing Contact
Posted By Jools123 on 24-11-2009
Hello,
Could somebody please advise me on how I should go about getting extended contact through the courts?
Currently I have 9am on Saturday through to 5.30pm on Sunday on alternate weekends. I have had this contact for 17 months now and my daughter is nearly 4 years old. Prior to that I had alternate Sundays from 9.30 to 5.30pm.
I now believe the contact order should be increased to allow Friday 5.30pm to Sunday 5.30pm and to include provision for half-term and Christmas.
I will have to go back to the court to get this official and approved as my ex wont agree. How do I go about doing so?
Which form do I apply on?
Is this linked to my existing order?
Will I have to apply to the same court?
What is the cost?
How long would this normally take?
and would CAFCAS have to get involved again (hopefully not as we already have regular contact)
Thanks in advance!
Cheers,
Jools
Follow up comments
Added By Kat007 on 24-11-2009
Hi Jools123,
OK you would like to increase contact and why shouldn't you ask, I am sure your daughter would like to spend longer with you too and friday after school to Sunday is reasonable or even Monday morning school drop off for you to take her. Also holidays should be included even if at first just acouple of extra overnights during the week or split right down the middle. Depends on how your daughter wll cope which sure she will.
You say CAFCASS are involved still which is excellent they can help you and your ex come to an agreement and then that can be added to any existing contact order if of course your ex agree's, they will also be able to determine whether you request is unreasonable given she is only four but do discuss it with them and ask for their advice. This will have to go to the same court and time depends on how busy the courts are and how stubborn your ex is going to be relinquishing time to you and your daughter.
Good luck I hope you alll get a good outcome.
Added By sometimesitdoesn'twork on 25-11-2009
I agree with Kat, if you still have regular contact with CAFCASS it's worth discussing an increase with them first and they might be able to act as mediators. In fact in some areas it seems parents are meeting with CAFCASS before the first appointment anyway. Individual CAFCASS officers and judges have different attitudes, but as your D isn't yet four you will probably find that holidays will be built in gradually.
I wonder why CAFCASS are still involved? If the court has been involved in the last year you could apply for a variation to the order using Form C2. When there is no recent court involvement you use Form C100 and the application fee is £175. In children proceedings the case is heard in the court nearest to where they live and usually an appointment is made for about 6 weeks although it can be longer if the courts are busy, particularly around Christmas.
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
Hi,
Thanks for the posts but....
CAFCASS aren't involved and the last hearing in court was May 2007. I presume then that this will be a new order? Is there a different form?
If you remember a previous post my ex is taking my daughter out of the country for 5 weeks breaking the court order and we are corresponding by solicitor to resolve this matter.
Hence why my only choice is to use the court to get increased contact.
Thanks in advance
Added By Simes 2p on 25-11-2009
C100. Dowload from HMCourts website.
Either an application to vary an existing order (probably the best way) or a new order. It will be linked because they will begin from whats existing.
Apply to the Court nearest the child. Any other court and it will probably be transferred by her sol, causing a delay.
£175
Same length as a piece of string
Depends on the issues. If its just extending contact no, if she makes allegations, probably yes.
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
Hi Simes,
Allegations - you know her then ;-)
like the original access order (in 2006) where she replied to the courts saying there had been a spate of fathers taking their children's lives and was concerned I might do the same.....pathetic I know!
Added By harry888 on 25-11-2009
Sorry to but in. I made post above trying to understand what is going on generally. Are the law courts full of revengeful [mother or father] making allegations to try and stop access ?
Also am being stupid in thinking - why is there not a matrix which states if a child is this age - he/she should have access to the other parent as follows xxxx. So that is the norm and in exceptional cases only needs to go to court. so in this case - say - the norm would be when a child reaches age of 4 the contact gets upped to Friday at 5.30pm instead of sat at 9.00am. of course parents can agree outside the matrix.
maybe i am being Mr Simple / Stupid ?
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
Sorry harry but your questions are dubious. If you have a specific question about your situation you should post it. This looks as if you are finding out info for some other reason like an article....
Added By harry888 on 25-11-2009
Jools. I am one of those fathers who has two great children but have not been able to see them for 5 years. This year - long story - I got them into the system in The High Court in London. My ex wife is just revengeful and lies throughout all her Affidavits. The lies are just so silly. Really - last petition from her said children need consistency - i managed to stop him seeing them for ages so he should not see them again. I am a pilot. So she gets an order for fear of abduction - that I cant go nr their school or home as i might land up getting a small aircraft, land it on the main road and kidnap them and take them out of the UK. My goodness.
I have gone through the really angry stage and am at the "i want to understand the system stage" - since she is loaded - and going into the High Court with lawyers could bankrupt me I guess.
Reading the posts on this website - there does not seem to be much of a problem. Then I read last week there is a huge problem.
Added By harry888 on 25-11-2009
i also put up a website. www.childrenarenotpawns.com
i am thinking of applying for an order,by consent, to get the judge to read it b4 petitioning him/her. problem is i keep reading the articles and other research and am coming to the conclusion everything does not make sense.
Added By Simes 2p on 25-11-2009
Harry, most men tend to go up against the legal system themselves, and end up getting a rubbish order because they do not know what they are doing.
They then tell everyone how bad the system is, and how the law is against men.
Truth is, the law is not biased.
So if you want to get contact with your children, approach it sensibly, and properly, and you will get somewhere.
If you want to try and understand the system, you will learn nothing asking people who are embroiled in their own conflicts. Study law, get a degree, and then you will have a completely different perspective. Then, you will understand law and how it works. Until then, you are wasting your time.
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
ok, sorry to hear your difficulties.
You can apply to the court and CAFCASS should get involved. Contact at a contact centre should be your 1st start. I cant understand why a court would prevent this as its supervised.
Thats how I had to go about it after my ex took my original contact away.
Nevertheless, the system is all wrong and I truly wish I wasnt part of it.
Added By harry888 on 25-11-2009
Simes/Jools
Simes - I agree with you. Goodness during the divorce I spoke to no one who I knew about what was going on. They would simply agree with me to keep me happy.
I agree with everything you say - that simple !!! You seem really annoyed with me.
I dont understand why Jools says "the system is all wrong".
Simes - I feel like a leper. I meet new people and am too scared to tell them I have children. I feel like an idiot. How can you tell ppl you cant see your children. they think automatically I must be a monster. I had Court Orders and my ex wife just refused to comply with them - she even had my 5 yr old child tell me over the phone - dad - i cant see you anymore.
Added By Stuart on 25-11-2009
Look on the bright side, children get to the point where they can pretty well decide for themselves.
For those of you who dont know, my sons mother was one of those awful women who saw our child as her own personal property to do with as she pleased.
She fought me tooth and nail to screw contact between me and my son.
She fell flat and overall she failed in a spectacular style.
My lad is now 12 and visits / stays whenever he wants. Sure, his mother still occasionally attempts to screw things but she rarely gets anywhere and is realising that our lad can see her for what she is...rather sad and pathetic.
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
Harry - the system is all wrong for the reasons outlined in your last paragraph.
If the RP decides to not adhere to the court order there is very little they can do. It costs the NRP money to go back to court each time. The RP gets a slap on the wrist and so it goes on. Nobody is going to lock the RP up for not adhering to the court order.......and then the excuses can come out, child was ill, RP was ill, car broke down whilst being away etc
I do agree that a solicitor is the best way forward but the costs are extremely high. Two recent letters have cost me £900 and I still don't have a response to the 2nd so am none the wiser as to whether I will see my daughter over Christmas....
Added By Jools123 on 25-11-2009
Stuart - I really hope that happens with my daughter. I do see her regularly but its by no means enough for us both.
She tells me that mummy doesn't like daddy because of this and because of that and tries to make me look bad and turn my daughter against me. I think she already knows what her mum is doing but its not right at her age (or any age for that matter) that she can do this. I try and correct things but never turn it around on her mummy as that would be just as bad.
Added By Simes 2p on 25-11-2009
Harry, not annoyed with you at all. Just the way I type I suppose.
Stu, no child will come and find you if they don't know who they are. I love the way yours has changed, but you had a relationship with your son that you persevered with and he knew you were there. harry doesn't have that.
As for Sols, I don't think they are the best solution, but if you do it yourself it has to be done with knowledge and sense. Two things lacking in most mens brain when they take on the might of the legal profession.
Harry, just realised maybe I was a bit short on the 'understanding the system' part. Don't waste your time. It will get you nowhere trying to understand why it is the way it is. Just accept it, and deal with it.
Added By harry888 on 25-11-2009
Simes
You are a divorce lawyer right ? I think you have a good idea of everything. Please e mail me with your contact details and take this case. Thanks.
Added By Simes 2p on 25-11-2009
Harry, sorry, no I am not.
Join Families Need Fathers, fnf.org.uk ignore the idiots and use the sensible members knowledge and experience to guide you through.
It can be done.
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