ONDIVORCE GENERAL AND CONTACT MESSAGEBOARD
[ADD YOUR COMMENTS] [LIST ALL SUBJECTS]
Subject: help please
Posted By neverending on 27-11-2009
hello folks, I have been reading your posts for a long time and need help. My ex husband has remarried with step children and a baby on the way.
I told my 12 years duaghter off and she decided to go and live with her dad. Her father has since reduced the amount agreed in the consent order signed by the court.
My duaghter has been with him for 3 weeks now, she told me she doesn't want to come back .
Can you please advise me if he can do that without going back to the court. Can you please advise me at what age a child can decide which parent she wants to liev with.
Thanks
Follow up comments
Added By Stuart on 27-11-2009
When you say he has reduced the amount agreed in court what do you mean?
Spousal maintenance? Child maintenance?
Normally the only way to reduce payments is to apply for a variation to the court so in other words ask the courts permission.
In fairness, if there has been a change of circumstances insofar as where your daughter lives then this should be reflected in any payments etc.
After all, any payments agreed were taking into account that your daughter was living with you.
At 12 your child can make the decision for herself but it does depend upon her level of maturity.
Generally though if it were ever to make it to court its likely that a change of residency would go in your ex husbands favour as long as he can demonstrate that your daughter is happy and flourishing.
Im afraid that the courts will not take into account your financial circumstances. ie, they wont order your daughter to remain living with you just to keep the maintenance coming in.
Also, if your daughter does live with your ex then by rights you should be paying child maintenance.
Added By sometimesitdoesn'twork on 27-11-2009
Umm... a 12 year changing where they live just because they have been told off doesn't bode well for the future. What happens when the novelty wears off and she gets a row from her father or step mother? My bet is she'll be back within a year or so of her own accord unless there is more to it.
The views of a 12 year old are a consideration but it is adults who make the decisions. Not so long ago a change of residence was ordered for a 14 year old girl very much against her wishes so it is possible to successfully apply for a residence order or to enforce one. The difficulty for courts is that forcing someone who is almost in their teens to live somewhere they don't want tends to encourage unwanted behaviour such as running away.
In theory maintenance agreed in a consent order has to be paid until the order is varied or ceases to have effect. However the courts take a practical and if there is a reasonable excuse enforcing the arrears of child maintenance is unlikely. It would be different for spouse maintenance.
Added By Stuart on 28-11-2009
On the face of what we have read, its not likely that the daughter is going to be forced to live with mum if she wants to be with dad.
I would say that the only reason a child would be forced against her wishes is when its deemed to be in the best interests of the child - ie, child could be neglected or in other ways be exposed to harm.
Sorry to sound blunt but potential financial hardship for the current PWC is unlikely to be a good enough reason...
Added By neverending on 28-11-2009
Thanks STDW for your informed input. I always enjoy reading your posting. You are such a gem.
Thanks Stuart.
Added By EnglishRose on 29-11-2009
12 is marginal. 13 is more likely but most contact works best when the children and parents agree it. What about trying to discuss it with her father? Also he cannot stop payments with a change to a court order and of course if she's living with him you have to contribute to her so he may well be about to apply to the CSA or whatever it is now called so that you contribute to her costs which would be perfectly fair.
| 
