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Subject: Back to court :-(
Posted By juggler on 04-12-2009
Very disappointed that I am now off to court again next Thursday (5th or possibly 6th time this year). I really hoped nothing would happen until the New Year then at least we would know where we were regarding holiday contact which had been settled.
Just to update, the ex was supposed to provide ALL his police files. He has supplied files of 3 separate incidents, all involving me (well, the domestic violence directed at me!) I had a quick look through his statement written in July this year and he himself has described FOUR other times he went to the police station or they came out to his house. (For fighting in the street, threatening suicide and stealing from a neighbour, btw). Yet these are not included in his "complete" police record.
If you are reading, Simes, if he was completely innocent of the four incidents and the police drove off happy that no action needed to be taken - would there still be a record of it?
To give his new fiancee a little credit, she has been no problem recently. She has not suddenly materialised when the ex has had contact with the boys (she is not allowed contact with them) and has stopped sending me odd and threatening text messages.
Unfortunately the ex is as mad as ever. I have had various solicitors letters from him the last fortnight accusing me of various things including (again!) child neglect and taking them swimming in a river (in November?!) I'm slightly worried tonight because tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary. Various unpleasant things happen on the 5th and he has the boys with him for 3 hours. In recent years he has got out our wedding photographs and made the boys look through them with him and a couple of years back, my car suddenly disappeared on the night of the 5th, drove backwards and forwards past the nearest speed camera then went to where I shop locally and set itself on fire....
Anyway, fed up of having to go back to court, don't think anything has changed, she's still awful, he's still mad, still on bail and we STILL don't have his police files.
Stuart, if you are tempted to write something flippant about how I shouldn't care about any of this, please just go and make yourself a cup of tea instead!
Follow up comments
Added By Kat007 on 05-12-2009
Hi Juggler,
From what i can understand here is that xmas holiday contact has already been arranged for the children and agreed by you both which is great. Is this the reason for the return to court because now your ex wants this changed?
Also regarding the police files, why is he providing them surely if it is ordered by a judge that police records for your ex and NP be submitted to court for review then they should be supplied by the police not your ex, they would got directly to the Judge's chambers for them to read and a copy sent to your solicitor surely.
As for the NP she hasn't been around when your ex has had the kids which atleast she appears to be behaving herself, you may not like her and understand given her past. And as your ex is totally mad(your words lol) then I wouldn't let his accusations bother you then man is delusional and just intent on causing grief for you by making things up. Bitter ex's do that often such a shame really.
And Finally going to court again I know how you feel, I hate it i sit shaking get really nervous and stutter when I am asked anything. Rediculas really as so far nothing ex has done or said this year has gone his way as We have proved he lies. Still not a nice experience. Now If the Judge's looked like gorgeous Male models wearking calvin klein undercrackers then maybe I would enjoy it more HMM dreaming now LOL.
And the Car, Don't park it anywhere near your house or ask a friend if you can put it in their garage today so he can't find it. Good luck xxx
Added By juggler on 05-12-2009
Thanks, Kat.
Its not the Christmas holiday that he wants changed really, although I'm sure he'll mention that too!
What it is is that he wants his new fiancee to be present when the boys go round to his flat. This is ALL he has asked for in court this year. We have said he can see the boys at times of his choosing. As he cannot see them when she is there, he has chosen really quite small periods of time - 3 hours here and there.
He wants every other weekend then Monday and Tuesday tea times plus half holidays (what he had originally). But when the judge says (time and again) that his fiancee is not to be present, he gets very shirty and says he will only have them for 3 hours.
Re: the police records. The ex's solicitor asked me to get mine so I downloaded a data protection form off the internet and got them that way. The ex and his solicitor then spent FIVE MONTHS claiming not to know how to get his records or that they were unable to do so. So the records I presume went straight to his house in the same way that mine were posted to my house. The pages are numbered but with each new incident they start at 1 again (if you see what I mean) so you could just throw away all the pages about one incident and no one else could tell.
I think if the judge actually believes masses of information is still missing, nothing will change on Thursday. The judge also said his new fiancee should write a statement and be cross examined but she has refused to do either......
The social worker who wrote the Section 7 report about new fiancee is also going to be cross examined because the judge last time said her report was rubbish!
Added By Stuart on 05-12-2009
Naa Jugs...... You just keep going.....lol
Added By juggler on 05-12-2009
I'll have an Earl Grey, please!
Added By juggler on 07-12-2009
Just had a phone call from my solicitor...
Wouldn't you know it, THREE day before court - he has split up with new fiancee. How likely is that.....?
Also been told (in the same fax) that he has been CHARGED with fraud now (the same Section of the fraud act as we were told before). However, not one count of fraud like he has been telling us but TWENTY counts. Sigh. He is going to court about the fraud in a couple of weeks.
Added By Kat007 on 08-12-2009
OOOH this in one way is good news but in another quite awful for the kids.
Ok bird is out the picture great you don't have to worry about that aspect anymore.
Fraud charges really 20 counts of fraud omg what the hell has he been up to. Well he got caught so looks like a prison sentance which is not good for the kids as they will not be able to see him and it will also affect maintenance although I am sure that I saw something on the csa website about nrp's in prison and how they collect. HMM not a good situation alround so sorry juggler. Hope that the kids are ok with this if they find out. Poor loves.
Will you still have to go to court Thursday?
Added By juggler on 08-12-2009
Thanks, Kat.
As far as I know, court is still on this Thursday. Seems a bit weird now scary fiancee is out of the picture! (If she really IS gone). At least we can mention his harrassment (ongoing) and his lack of a complete police file...
The boys know nothing about the ex's trial yet but I don't know how long that will last. We live in a little village and they go to school in the next slightly larger village, we all read the same local newspaper... And obviously if he goes to prison I shall have to tell them where he has gone!
Not worried about the CSA, he owes them thousands of pounds. Twice they have caught up with him and he has immediately given up work. I've never received more than £5 a week.
I am not convinced fiancee has really left, mind you. Its just too convenient.
I'm guessing, as all 20 frauds must be the same thing, that it is VAT fraud as it would make sense that he has sold 20 cars and kept the VAT from those sales.
Added By Kat007 on 10-12-2009
Oh don't screw the tax man coz he will been happy to send your ex to prison to become someone's bitch hence he will be screwed well and truly. Sorry in that mood tonight. Ok 20 counts of selling cars and keeping VAT how stupid are some people.
Juggler all you can do is tell the boys the truth and tell them as soon as you know when he is in court or as soon as you know the outcome of the trail, better coming from you than one of their friends on the playground.
Maybe when you can leet us know how it went today, hope your ok? much love kat
Added By juggler on 11-12-2009
Thanks, Kat. Sorry, this is a cut and paste job but I can't write it all out again!
Well, the ex and I got to court complete with a barrister and a solicitor each and the social worker was there to be cross examined as well.
Got there 9.30. From 9.30 - 10.30, the legal people (in the foyer of the court) thrashed out how much contact the ex should have with the boys now his fiancee has gone. He said she had been arrested for stealing from him and was in court last Monday.
From then it descended into farce....
My solicitor saw fiancee outside court! She then challenged the ex and he said in fact they had not split up at all and he HAD phoned the police but had then withdrawn his statement about her. My solicitor phoned the three local courts and she has NOT been in court and she doubts the arrest ever happened. This is one of the many things that now has to be investigated.
We all sat down again and tried to work out what to do now the fiancee was back. The social worker was nearly in hysterics and apologised for beleiving what the ex and fiancee had told her. She realised he really is in trouble with the police (like I said) and how unstable their relationship is, particularly in light of the splitting up/theft/arrest rubbish. The social worker basically withdrew her support from the other side.
We also learned that fiancee is going to try and get child number 3 back. I can't see that working out!
We got the ex's charge sheet so now I know what 20 charges he is in court for next week. 3 charges of forging car tax disks and 17 charges of claiming VAT whilst not a proper company and keeping the "VAT" for himself.
My barrister then said contact should remain the same, fiancee not to be present. He want the FULL POLICE RECORDS (hoorah!!!), a letter from the ambulance service about his suicide threats (hoorah!!!), everything about his court case (including statements), a revised Section 7 report from the social worker now she has seen the light and various other bits that I've forgotten.
We went into the court room, my barrister was carrying nearly his own weight in folders, missed the steps and fell over, falling down the steps into the aisle of the court, landing on his face :-( There was quite a lot of commotion over this as the barrister on the other side and I tried to get him upright again.
Once again, the judge agreed with everything I said. He was not impressed about the on/off relationship and arrest/not really an arrest debacle and REALLY not impressed about the 20 charges of fraud.
Got out of court at 1.30.
So everything is going to remain as it is until we got back to court in early March 2010. At that point, the barrister said I should be able to ask for the contact to be in one or two sizaeble chunks rather than 3 hours here and there.
Added By Kat007 on 17-12-2009
I hate to say this but given he lies about the GF being involved I would insist contact in a centre on a regular basis rather than take the risk of her being around. but as you say until March not alot can be done, just keep records of contact and who was there etc.
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