OnDivorce Messageboard

Hello. Well, we had a cafcass report which came back as every other weekend fri to mon with half hols. Then went to court for a session in July.

Thing is I have been very busy this year and with work and everything have stopped fighting, so I lost. Her father spent a lot of money and suprised me in July. They took a new approach of lying which threw me completely, then they started calling me names and calling me a child abuser and neglector etc. all while witholding passports and denying contact. I didn't know what to do, so said nothing, the judge looked at me and asked what I thought and I just asked that she do something about getting on us holiday. She said that was not why we were there, so I said I don't know what to say and said no more. She said, will you talk to cafcass, I said ok, but my ex was only offering 1 day every two weeks which was less than cafcass and I said what's the point in me expressing my opinion when her barrister refused cafcass offer anyway.

All the while her barrister is trying to wind me up. So I walked off and came home fed up. I then put an emergency application in for holiday while she was on holiday in cyprus and got this scheduled for week 1 august.

Then I get notification that final contact hearing is last week of august (min 28 days notice), thing is I was away on business for that week so write to everyone saying I can't make it and get my manager to do the same.

I then go on holiday with children (Judge gave me 2 weeks) and when I get back get a letter that my application for an adjourment has been refused. However I then am off on business. I call the cafcass officer to find out the hearing happened without me and I was stitched up in court.

The decent contact and order I had has been cut by over two thirds and now I have a brick wall of what you going to do about it and the court ain't happy I couldn't make it.

It was a circuit court judge and everything, I did tell her sols I couldn't make it but he used it as an opportunity to proove lies as they had no case and kids were doing well.

The costs thing is the last point that her barrister wrote, on the order it says if this every goes to court again I must explain why I did not attend and in the absence of a decent application the court may order that I pay the costs wasted of the days hearing. Not sure what to do with that. I think I want what the cafcass report says, but have just been too beat up to know which way is up.

I have put in an application to have the order set aside and the old order back via a C2 ( she had no application but got this on the back of a failed non molestation order from her assaulting me during my contact time). Should I be worried about costs? In which case what do I do? Write in and stop hearing? if not worried about costs, what should I do?

Simes, I do appreciate your views and you sound more and more like a lawyer. As such I have taken to saying nothing in court as ex and her sol seem to moan at me. If you fancy another trip we did well last time and the order lasted a while? It took me of trying the new order and being nice to ex before I just put the application in, but I am very worried, but the contact on offer is not good enough (really believe that), so between a rock and a hard place, not particularly happy and sick of it as polywoly correctly points out. Looking for decent help and advice as I find myself tired and fed up abnd not knowing what to do as her father spends his life and money trying to do me in.