ONDIVORCE GENERAL AND CONTACT MESSAGEBOARD
[ADD YOUR COMMENTS] [LIST ALL SUBJECTS]
Subject: Silly emotions..
Posted By Stuart on 17-01-2010
My ex wife had a baby last night....little girl...
My son (12) seems to be taking it very well after feeling very upset at the idea.
Im glad and happy that he is gushing at having a lovely little sister but cant help feeling a little jealous (if thats the right word)....
I guess it didnt help that this little child was born on the 3rd anniversary of my Dads death....
I know Im being silly but Im afraid that my son is going to want to know less of me....
Follow up comments
Added By LazyLizzie on 17-01-2010
Your feelings are very natural - as are your sons.
I suspect that a few broken nights, significantly less attention and smelly nappies may mean that your son's enthusiasm wanes fairly rapidly. Be ready for the fallout! Love is one of those funny things - the more you have the more it grows. There is room for both you and the baby in your son's heart.
Added By Teadrinker on 18-01-2010
You're not being silly. But I'm sure your son will enjoy time away from the crying smelly bundle. I don't think 12 y.o. boys are known for their enthusiasm about babies!
I know what you mean about the anniversary. One of my family had a baby close to the anniversary of my mum's death and I was glad it wasn't the same day. I didn't want a day I associate forever with her death to be my close relative's birthday.
Added By obiwan_kenobi_again on 18-01-2010
new things delight kids- but he wont forget his old dad...
opps... not OLD i ment errr...
oh crap stop digging obi..
Added By Jools123 on 18-01-2010
Stuart,
My partners son was delighted when me and his mum moved in together. Couldn't wait to have my daughter as a step sister. 3 years on, he doesn't really notice when she's here (well besides waking him up in the morning with her very loud voice :-) and that novelty wore off very soon.
I don't think you need to worry. The novelty will soon wear off and hey she's a baby now so she'll be eating, sleeping, dirtying and get more attention than him. Not much to hold the interest of a 12 year old. She's a few years from playing on the xbox yet!
My suggestion if this is at all possible (not sure of you and ex's circumstances). When you next see him, take him to buy a gift for the baby which can be from him to her but you can choose together, then not leaving him out you can buy him a little something too.
May this even be an opportunity to see more of him. His mum will be knackered and may need some help with your son.
Take Care!
Added By Captain Oates on 18-01-2010
Stuart, I think I understand a little and I do sympathise. These feelings make us human. Time helps and I see people now who are where I was 5 years ago and I have changed a lot. Just one thing which I hope may make it better is that I think this will make you and your son closer together. People I know who have half-siblings I find see them less like siblings. As I say that I worry as am thinking of having another child and worry it may push me and my 2 further apart, I tend to lose in court trying to see them anyway. If I have some advice it is to enjoy your life and son and her life is hers now and try to dettach. I am sure my ex's life is not as good as she wants me to think it is as your ex's probably isn't. I'm not sure there are any awards anyway, apart from St Peter at the end perhaps. All the best.
| 
