ONDIVORCE GENERAL AND CONTACT MESSAGEBOARD
[ADD YOUR COMMENTS] [LIST ALL SUBJECTS]
Subject: Separating
Posted By Pabs on 28-01-2010
Newley seperating in need of positive boost. Anyone any good advice?
Follow up comments
Added By Kat007 on 30-01-2010
yep a bit more info and advice could be given, reasons why, kids involved, property etc
Added By Pabs on 01-02-2010
Yes 3 kids involved. Just not working out happy for the both of us anymore. Not nice atmosphere. Property also. Fallen out of love and from both parties. Not easy but the decision has been made now.
Added By Ess on 02-02-2010
Hi Pabs
First of all, sorry you're in this situation. It certainly isn't easy for you, for your husband/wife and for your children. You say you've both fallen out of love and that this is a joint decision that you've made. I'm guessing that you might be feeling disappointed, worried about the kids and the practical side of divorce and perhaps unsure about the future?
It is hard but in time, with luck and a good attitude between you and your ex2b, you can all come through this - bruised maybe, but bruises go away if you take care of yourself.
Some things that helped me in the early days were friends, family, these boards (when the friends and family are sick of hearing about it!!!), counselling, a self help book and forcing myself to get some exercise.
Much of what you read on these boards might make it feel like every divorce always ends up as a nasty battle, but as per dts's post above, most people manage to remain fairly amicable and work out arrangements with the kids that suit everyone. It's never easy and everyone has to compromise along the way but it can be bearable and down the line a divorce can even seem like quite a positive, liberating experience. Good luck
Added By Hodditt on 03-02-2010
Your story mirrors my own.
After being unhappy for a few years my wife decided after being unhappy for a few months that we needed to split up. I have to say that after trying to make it work for so long to hear her say it was over after a few months of unhappiness kinda sucked, especially as she didn't want councelling or a trial separation.
Keep thinking about the positive things and look forward. As Ess says get yourself a good support group and talk it out, don't bottle anything up.
You'll have your ups and downs. Just remember without the downs you can't have the ups and its the ups that matter.
Added By Pabs on 04-02-2010
Hi Ess & Hodditt,
Just reading these replies already helps and much appreciated. Dissapointed and worried about the kids has hit it on the head. I have probably known for a few years now that this could be coming but didn't tackle it head on then when I should have done. Never the less bruises hopefully will heal over time.
Many thanks again
| 
